Messy and outside, a toddler’s dream. Modern Playhouse has made an outdoor playhouse for all those times when you want to go out and play in the garden rain or shine. It’s called the Dacha playhouse, named for a Russian garden house. Not to be confused with danke, which is German for thanks.

The playhouse can simply provide shade or it can be a garden/green house or a lemonade stand or a club house or, well, whatever your kid can come up with.

Apparently this playhouse is tool-less, so even the clumsiest of handymen and handywomen can assemble it. They say it takes minutes. Hopefully their directions are somewhere in between IKEA’s no word mystery directions and the 10 page tome bicycle assembly directions. “Assembly required” is a parent’s nightmare!

Oh how I yearn for a yard to put this in. As it stands, right now we live in an apartment and we have no place, inside or out, to put a playhouse. Instead, we throw a blanket over the back of the chair and hook it over their little kitchen to make a “cave.” It works for now.

But this little darlin’ would be a hit!

Maybe come summer. Maybe.

photo credit: Modern Playhouse

Who knew there was such a thing? Oil cloth chalkboard placemats! I’ve long loathed the typical sickly sweet look of oil cloth. I’m sure I could find something that didn’t make me conjure a picnic back in 1950 but I have yet to find a pattern that I like. And yet, I love the idea of oil cloth. I mean, a wipeable table cloth or placemat that is easy to store AND clean.

Now, I don’t know if my kids would truly use a chalkboard placemat to ‘busy’ themselves before dinner and then magically change gears once the plate is served. Something tells me they’d be pretty preoccupied. That said, maybe this is just what I’ve been needing to add some calm around dinnertime?

Ahh. Probably not. But still. Fun!

Here are a few of my favs that I’ve seen around:

Polkadot birthday
Beautiful Life Photos
Bellocchio
And taking this all a step further, Chalkydoodles

photo credit: Polkadot Birthday

What if the secret to success is failure? That was the question the New York Times posed at the beginning of the school year last year and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

The article is about character, about children learning and practicing ‘good character.’ It’s also about teachers (and in some respects parents) teaching and measuring good character.

For me, until now, good character was sort of like the way Justice Potter Stewart defined pornography. I can’t define it but I know it when I see it.

Only it’s not like that all. Good character is not that hard to define when it comes down to it. People with character share many traits. Traits that are measurable and, unlikely as this may sound, are shared by successful, happy, fulfilled people. So, it could be argued that it is good character leads people to live their best lives, not grades, opportunities or even resources.

Interesting.

But what to do about it?

I decided to start a mini-series, if you will, dedicated to exploring the 24 characteristics of good character from a parent’s perspective. I’ll bring you along with my stumbles and fumbles as I try to teach my 2 and 4 year old about good character and, do pipe up with your own.

Stay tuned! I’ll write about one trait a week for the next 24 weeks. Oh, I’m excited now! Off to think on which one to tackle first.

I’ll leave you with this clue…what is teeny tiny, makes a big impression and leaves you feeling like my girl looks in this photo? Guess and I’ll fill you in with my first ‘good character’ characteristics next week!

photo credit: MHMB

Cooochichooochicoooooo.

Truth be told, it’s not hard to photograph babies. They are always so, so, so cute. But it is hard to take a GOOD picture of babies, what with all their moving, squirming, and drive-by smiles. You’ve got to be on your toes!

Here are few tricks I use when I’m at work – oh, yeah, did I mention my other job is taking photographs of families?

1. The hotter the better. Keep the room/house warm with babies. They like to nuzzle and snuggle so when they are cold, they are unhappy. Not good for the picture taking. Crank up the heat, even if that means you are sweating.

2. Level as she goes. Get the camera on their level. Don’t photograph down on them. If you photograph straight on, or even below their eyes, they tend to look like the majestic angels they are.

3. Quiet on the set. Tone down the background. If you can, make it all one color – a sheet, a big coat, a chair or couch cushion. Anything to make the baby pop right out of the photograph.

4. Strike a pose, juxtapose. Babies look best when they are either near really big things (to emphasize their smallness) or really small things (to make them look larger than life).

5. Moody, moody, moody. Don’t be afraid to snap away when the tears come. Or in the middle of a big yawn. Sometimes, it’s the absence of a smile that makes the memory stand out even more.

Bonus* 6. Back to basics. Even a photo from behind can capture just the right thing.

Now, it’s hard to photograph with a point and shoot or camera phone that has a delay. Really frustrating. My advice – press the button BEFORE you think you have to. You know your baby. You know when a smile is coming. Snap away. And don’t be shy, take thousands. You can always edit later.

One day, I hope that some baby will take it upon herself and photograph/video her parents trying to photograph her. Wouldn’t that be awesome, to see the faces we all make?

photo credit: MHMB

Have you heard of vision boards? Yeah, well, if you haven’t they are like your high school locker – all those things you pasted inside so when you looked at it you felt cool, awesome and just, well, less of a teenager. It’s like that. Only for grown ups.

I can’t seem to get my act together to make a vision board, try as I might. But. I do have a little notebook that I tape things into: phrases cut out of magazines, pretty houses I want to live in, exotic places I dream of seeing. I feel oddly childish when I do this, in both a bad and good way. I’m embarrassed sometimes but I honestly feel inspired when I re-read or re-see these things.

So. I was looking in my vision book and I saw this…”whatever you think, you become.”

I’ve been thinking about fighting. I’ve got a friend who, well, let’s just say things have become strained. I’m upset about it. I’m hurt. I’m angry. I also feel like telling her off a bit – in an “I’m standing up for myself but also getting in her face” sort of way. I’m not nice or generous in my head.

I’ve been thinking about all the snarky things I can say if we were to get into a fight. Because, typically, I can’t think of these things until way AFTER a fight and then it’s just pointless to try to go back and be all, “…” Thanks, mind, for running that marathon with me but forgetting your shoes so you limped along the whole way and left my mouth to do run on, all hot air and no sense.

The truth is I value our friendship and am bummed that we’re in the spot we’re in. So maybe I should look on her with warm eyes instead of breathing fire. Maybe I should think of being a good friend to her, to give her the benefit of the doubt and try to listen a little bit more. Maybe.

Can’t hurt, right?

And in that way, it’s entirely possible that I can think kindly into repairing our friendship. So, even if I no longer have a locker to open to feel inspired, I do have my trusty little book.

Do you do this? 1) Obsess about things while those things are not changing and 2) find inspiration to make your world more of what you want?

And also, as you grow, do you work at your friendships or “cut bait”, as they say?

photo credit: Vibrant Spirit

Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

Marvelous. Each time I see this I get lost in the magic of it. The sense of something bigger than us guiding us, en masse. A silent, collective knowing of which way to turn.

So as we end this year – and for some, myself included, this time of year is bittersweet – I thought I’d share a bit of wonder.

Joyeux noël et bonne année.

If I were throwing a new year’s eve party, I’d seriously think about one of these drinks to serve. Yum. I’m more of a low-key wine or beer girl, or bubbly. There’s always room for a little bubbly. That said, sometimes wine and beer don’t LOOK so festive. They come off a little snoozy. I wish I knew of a way to snazzy-up a wine presentation. In fact, if you know, I’m all ears.

In the meantime, check out the bright colors of these drinks. And, might I add, I bet the drinks would be just as good without the alcohol for an afternoon shindig or even a kids party.

Kiwi Strawberry Ice
1 oz. Stoli Vodka
2 Blackberries
Splash of lemon
Splash of white cranberry juice
Topped off with Strawberry Kiwi Sparkling ICE

Pink Grapefruit Ice
1 oz. Beefeater Gin
4 Cucumbers muddled
2 Drops of lime juice
1 oz. Blueberries muddled
Finished with Pink Grapefruit Sparkling ICE

Lemon Lime Ice
1 oz. Bacardi Light Rum
1 Splenda
6 Basil leaves lightly muddled
Splash of lime
Finished with Lemon Lime Sparkling ICE

Orange Mango Ice
1 oz. Herradura Silver Tequila
3 Shiso leaves
Lime wedge muddled
Topped with Orange Mango Sparkling ICE

Black Raspberry Ice
1 oz. Makers Mark Bourbon
½ oz. Dry Vermouth
2 Bourbon Cherries
1 Splenda
Topped off with Black Raspberry Sparkling ICE

So what is this Sparkling ICE you see listed in each of the recipes? It’s a blend of water, fruit juice and just a little bit of carbonation. I’ve never had it, but it sounds good.

Apropos of nothing…do you allow yourself to daydream?

I usually daydream while surfing the Internet and wind up lost in the cyber-web of blah blah blah and can’t find my own thoughts. I gotta spend more time just dreaming!

Here’s a quote for you: everything starts as somebody’s daydream

Imagine. Where would we be if Steve Jobs didn’t dream his way into improving just about everything electronic in our world? We’d still be using room-sized computers.

So as I sit here watching this blinking cursor on my white page, I think I’ll unplug and stare out my window. Let my mind wander through the leaves on the tree outside instead of the forest of words of the internet.

And as I do, I’ll leave you with another little gem: the most important thing about dreams is having one.

Just a little inspiration before the new year rolls around.

photo credit: Kr. B.

My new attitude: gratitude. As the new year commences, I’m going to be more grateful. See how I said that? With conviction! With assurance! With umph? It’s my way of tricking my mind that I actually WILL be more grateful, not aspire to be more grateful. Because that’s where New Year’s resolutions always fail me…in the attempt. Kinda like the wisdom from Yoda…”There is no try, either do. Or do not.”

My 4-year-old has a unique way of expressing herself. She seems to embody newness. Like when we went to tea at a fancy hotel and the hostess brandished a crown for the “princess.” My girl turned to me and said, “it’s so nice she knew I am a princess!” Her gratitude was genuine and completely heartfelt. Yet she amazed me with her assurance that she should be given a crown – she is a princess after all – and how nice of other people to acknowledge that. She owned it.

That’s when it struck me that gratitude is deeper than saying thanks or even feeling thankful.

When I was my daughter’s age, my mother took me to see my first performance of the Nutcracker. I have no actual memory of that first time really. Rather, I have a volume of memories, all stacked on top of each other, of every Nutcracker I’ve seen from then till now. How the Christmas tree grows and grows; the tinkling of the snow as it falls and swirls around the air on the ballerinas fluttering bodies; the booming Russian dancers bursting about in impossible circles. And don’t get me started on the Sugar Plum fairies!

We would attend, my mother, my sister and me. Each year. Every year. Until we didn’t. First my sis moved for college and found her home far away from New Orleans. Then I did. And the tradition faltered.

Until this year. My mom called me and asked if I was going to the Nutcracker. No, I told her. I didn’t think it’d work out. Timing, naps, blah blah blah. I had been wanting to take my daughter the minute I found out I was pregnant but I knew I had to wait until she was old enough. Somehow, in the waiting, I convinced myself that my baby was still a baby, that she couldn’t possibly be old enough to go to the ballet because she couldn’t possibly be growing! Nope. Still my baby. Next year. Maybe.

I could hear the disappointment. Mothers are like that. Even in silence they speak loudly. And all around town I kept seeing the Nutcracker posters. If the Nutcracker is playing in your town you know what I mean. They are everywhere – on the buses, in the dry cleaner, the grocery store. It was like something was whispering for me to just go already.

Then, I heard Tchaikovsky on the radio and I did it. I bought tickets.

The entire performance I watched my daughter watch the ballerinas. Her whole body was focused on the stage, she sat as still as I’ve seen her sit. Only her little hand by her side was twirling in time with the music. And I knew. She was dancing inside as much as I have done all these years.

And in those 3 hours, I saw through my 40 year old eyes both the child that I’ve been and the child that I now have. I felt the love of my own mother, how she must have watched me, as I watched my girl’s imagination be sparked by the magical music and dance.

I felt a deep sense of tradition. Of keeping families alive through generations by a simple act. The Nutcracker. It was by far one of the best presents I have ever received and it took re-gifting it to fully understand.

So that’s the spirit that I’m facing in the new year: gratitude. And hey, I’m starting off on the right foot, right? I mean, I’m already grateful and the year hasn’t officially even started.

Wooo hooo.

photo credit: ~*Bomba Rosa*~

It’s crazy, isn’t it? This time of year. Christmas may be over, but there’s still lots of celebrating and good cheer to come. I do love the holidays but I find myself dreading them just a bit as well.

All the work. All the expectations. All the hassle.

One thing I’m focusing on is keeping the rhythm of the day in order to keep me sane. I thought I’d share a little wisdom from my daughter’s preschool teacher – she’s my rock in this toddler maelstrom.

It’s all bout the rhythm.

Kids – especially smaller ones – like consistency. They like predictability. This is not news, I imagine. However, when the holidays hit and school lets out, we travel from place to place, have big late dinners, and basically throw the ordinary rhythm out the window.

And that’s OK. That’s part of what makes this time of year feel so special. I mean, who doesn’t love grandma’s house?!? Oh, the nooks and crannies to explore!

Seriously, though, just a little planning ahead, a little structure to your schedule might just make the difference between chaos and calmness. Imagine if you could direct your kid’s manic energy outdoors and harness the quiet energy indoors. It’s all about knowing when to transition from wild and crazy to calm and quiet. Because a child’s day breathes much like we do. There is a time to breathe out and a time to breathe in.

If you take the day in blocks of time – say 1 hour at a time – you can move through the outside times to the inside times pretty easily. This all depends on the age of your kid – mine are 2 and 4, so we’re more like 1/2 hr. blocks. Did you ever see that movie “About A Boy” with Hugh Grant where he’s this rich lost guy and has to tackle the day 1/2 hr. at a time to keep himself sane? It’s like that. But without the rich dude part. And Hugh Grant’s lovely face.

As the day moves along, I have a few ready tools. For inside I have books, busy bags, dolls, coloring supplies. Anything that requires concentration but not adults. For outside there is the whole outside world! Running games, hopping like frogs, “horse” races. Anything to get those legs moving. If it’s icky outside, then hallways are good. Seriously. The legs have to move.

Watch for restlessness – your kids will tell you when it’s time to transition. If inside, you’ll feel the energy start to elevate, kids will get in each other’s faces. Trust me, you’ll know when it’s time to go outside if you just pay attention. So go! Preferably right before things get heated or escalated, but even after is fine. Just direct all that built up energy to physical activity.

And here’s the clincher. COME BACK INSIDE. It’s easy to forget that kids need to take it down a notch, too. To fold their wings and rest. I’m not talking nap time as much as time to breathe in. Look for the energy really getting chaotic. Fights breaking out. Conflict. Things spinning outta control. This is a sure sign that it’s time to take it down a notch.

For our youngest, I have a portable crib that I bring to my mother-in-law’s house. So when nap time comes, naps are had. We use a sound machine (I have an iPhone app) to keep the noise from bothering her. At the same time – as happens at my older daughter’s school as well as the weekends – we have quiet time. If you’re not sleeping, you’re quiet.

This is a little harder to manage outside of our house where our “quiet corner” exists. A “quiet corner” is simply a blanket/rug/pillow or anything really to delineate that this is where you sit to be quiet. It’s a spot just for the kiddos! (And remember, when making it, think like a kid – on the ground is better than on a couch). I’ve taken to making one when we’re out of our house.

And so it goes throughout the day. Outside. Inside. Outside. Inside. Eat every 2 hours!

This sounds like a lot, I know, but it’s not. Just come prepared wherever you go. I know my mother-in-law actually appreciates the effort to transform her house into a quiet zone for an hour or two mid day. She sees that we are prepared, so she’s less anxious about how the day will go.

Tell me, what are your plans for the holidays and does this seem like something you can add to your toolkit for keeping the holidays fun and relaxed?

photo credit: ellenm1

In case you need a little push in the holiday cheer direction, I just found out about Slacker’s updated holiday stations. Slacker is a cool service that lets you listen to a myriad of Internet radio stations.

I like the classics, so I’ve been listening to Burl and Bing. But the R&B Christmas station is great, too. It appeals to my New Orleans side. Oh, and the Jazz station. Gotta love a little Nat King Cole, and, let’s not forget Billie Holiday!

Anyway, here’s a list of the stations on Slacker that are playing great holiday music right now:

Holiday Classics
Holiday Party
Holiday
Holiday Hits (by BlackBerry AppWorld)
Country Holiday
R&B / Soul Holiday
Rock / Alternative Holiday
Classical Holiday
Jazz Holiday
Navidad Latina
Dysfunctional Holiday

Have a very Merry Christmas!!

Because they are awesome! Although their reputation is falling a bit, don’t you think? I mean, what with all those dolled-up apps, the video cool crowd and fancy toys that actually DO things, books might seem, well, boring. NOT SO. But don’t just take my word for it. Mo Willems – one of the best authors out there for children (and adults who read to children) – has a lot to say about why books.

Now, I know this information might reach you a little late. If you’ve already gathered all of your gifts, then telling you to give books as a present isn’t very helpful now is it? BUT. In case you haven’t completed your shopping list and still have a few things to pick up, then think on giving books.

The reason I find books one of the best things ever – for everyone – is that books tickle you. Only they need a little help to get up off the shelf. From you.

I never used to read outside of homework. Oh, the occasional Judy Bloom while I was growing up (oh boy does that date me?!?). Until I met a writer who I fell in love with. He was my first real boyfriend. A writer. And bartender. This was in my early 20s. You can imagine the attraction.

As he brooded on in his tormented writer ways – and mixing excellent drinks might I add – he read. He read A LOT of books. Books I couldn’t understand to tell you the truth (Ayn Rand, Nietzsche) but what is a girl to do with a beautiful reading beau but curl up with a good book, too?

Sadly, he had to go. But the books stayed!

And lo these many years later, I’m still reading. Only I know so much less now than I did when I first started. How’d that happen? See, what was tickled for me wasn’t just my imagination – though that did get kickstarted along the way too. What was tickled for me was my info-bone, if that’s a phrase. I became a voracious reader because I realized that the more I learn the more I want to learn. That could be aging, too, but I’ll credit books with it for now.

Also – and this goes a long way for me – books need us. A book is virtually helpless without a reader. I get a little emotional when I know I’m needed. For books, we have to show up, interact, be present. All good things to do in life, to model in life, to teach in life.

So yeah, I heart books. If ever you’re stumped on what to give, give a book.

I’ve got a few favs: Mo Willems of course. The new I See Me fairy book is awesome. Right now, I’m reading an oldy escapist Michael Connelly Harry Bosch thriller and my husband is reading Gary Shteyngart’s Super Sad True Love Story. What about you? What are you reading?

photo credit: Ian Wilson

Why oh why do we do such Christmas nonsense?

This is why advent calendars are a terrible idea for toddlers: impulse control. Or lack of it!

So I scoured the web to find a lovely advent calendar idea. I found oh so many! Have you noticed how many moms out there are johnny on the spot with crafting gorgeous homemade things? The pressure!

But my favorite, actually, came from my daughter’s preschool teacher. Hers is less a calendar and more of a treasure surprise. It’s fairly easy, too. You take a walnut, crack it in half and empty out the shell (yummy to eat in the process!). Then you hide a treasure inside and hot glue it down on a fat ribbon (that’s a picture of it up top). You do one shell for each day and the kiddos open them up and get a little treat.

I painted my walnut shells gold. To figure out what to hide, I have a poem that talks about the 4 candles of advent (for the 4 weeks leading up to Christmas) with a corresponding wonder or inhabitant of the earth: minerals, plants, animals and humans. So, for the first week I hid pretty rocks, or “crystals” inside. I even found a tiny plastic container that had a cork top that I used to represent gas. Then leaves and tiny flowers. You get the idea.

I couldn’t wait for them to open the tiny penguin figurine I found at the store. So cute! Oh, and the itty bitty butterfly charms! Couldn’t wait! Ahem. The acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree, so to speak.

Oh, was I proud of myself. I mean, I can be crafty, but this was GOOD! (Yes my kids are tiny – 4 and 2 – so much of this was/is lost on them, but still).

So on to the mishap.

You can guess, right?

Well, the first night as I lit the candle and watched my older daughter’s eyes POP out of her head with excitement at this new tradition, I told her the rules. Open one a night. Only one. All the way till Christmas. The advent calendars lived on the mantle and only Mommy or Daddy can get them down.

Mmmm-hmmm.

On the second night, when she opened the pink crystal, well, she started scheming in that brain of hers. As soon as we left her alone for a few minutes, she toddled over to the mantle, built her own step stool – out of stacked pillows, a lunch box, the bathroom stool, you name it. Anything to get her high enough.

Once those fingers got around the walnut-lined ribbons, did they ever get to work. EVERY. WALNUT. OPENED. Hers AND her sister’s.

“What did you do?!?!?!?”

Sigh. I can’t even get into how pissed I was, how heart broken because I really wanted to experience her experiencing it. The big ‘reveal.’ Dammit!

Well, punishment ensued. The sister got to keep opening – after I re-created the whole thing of course. Tantrums. Screaming. Whining.

I tell you all of this because I really did wonder what the hell I was doing this all for. Memories? Traditions? Bah humbug. It seemed like so much work for what? Chaos.

Christmas is so damn hard, isn’t it? Even the best intentions, the best laid plans can go awry. But it’s all – the bad and the good – information. Information on raising conscientious children. Or not.

Maybe the bigger lesson for me is to enjoy the process. The result is what it is. I had more fun thinking about little treasures I could hide, little wonders of the world I could tuck into walnuts that I should not have put so much of my hopes and expectations onto my daughter.

Of course she wanted to open them ALL. She’s 4! But I’m the one who is 40. I can cut that ribbon and hand her a walnut every night. Just one and then hide the rest. And it’ll all work out fine as we march closer to Christmas. Right! Right?

photo credit: Modern Home Modern Baby