It’s a funny thing. Yesterday I was “pottying a tinkle” (as my toddler calls it) when I felt a bit of skin on my belly sort of tuck under…that’s the only way to describe it. I thought, this couldn’t possibly be happening…not to me. It was fine when I was standing up. There was no sag or drag…a little pooch perhaps, but no sagging.

Cautiously, I put my hand to my abdomen. Yes, yes, there it was. A belly roll. Disgusted, I hopped off the loo and vowed that I would start a diet tomorrow. I would not let this get the best of me. I would be out running a half-marathon next summer…and the list when on and on.

Then I went to the kitchen, leaned against the counter, and savored a chocolate Super Bowl cupcake while I contemplated how I would do this. An app that records my every calorie? A blog about what I was doing? How would I keep myself honest? I made my decision and moved on, though I didn’t mention it out loud, because we all know how I feel about our own body images ruining our little girls.

When I got up this morning, this blog post at Scary Mommy was the first thing I read over my morning coffee. I’m the first to admit that I agree completely with what she’s saying…even if I preach otherwise. Though I do believe we need to keep our dismal body opinions to ourselves so as not to complicate matters with our little ones, I do hate the fact that, even after 10 years of being together, I now hate getting dressed in front of the hubs. In fact, I often get dressed in the bathroom just so he doesn’t walk in to the bedroom when I have only one leg in my jeans. Then I found Shape of a Mother and realized that there is this whole underground society of women who are horribly dissatisfied with how their post-baby body looks.

And, while this article at Baby Center talks about the “first few weeks” after you’ve had the baby, it says nothing about the fact that, for many women, post-baby jiggle is still going on when you kiss your kid goodbye on the first day of Kindergarten. Do real moms even write these stories? And if they do, why are they giving us false hope?

So, from vowing to lose the roll to a cupcake in the kitchen to finding another group of women who are sad about the flab, I’m still not satisfied and still not wanting to accept the little extra that is mine. And while I should stop eating the cupcakes, and I know I should accept my little belly, there’s one I’m just not able to do yet…the cupcakes are the easy part.

Let’s discuss. Have you accepted your post-baby body? What did it take to finally get you there?

photo credit: howtobeadad.com

Everybody with me now: AAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhmaaaaazing grace. How sweet the sound.

For those days when you need to leave all your rejects behind and walk through the door.

photo credit: MHMB

Things I yearn to say: “I’m sorry, I can’t go, I’m washing my hair.”

I also long for ways to feel relaxed and pampered on a daily basis. Small things throughout the day, nothing big and special like a day at the spa. Oh, if only! But time and money prohibit such indulgences, don’t they?

Well, I found a glorious shampoo and conditioner that truly make my head feel awesome: Rene Furterer. As in my scalp. Yes. I know – a little weird, huh?

I know what you’re thinking…who the hell pays attention to their scalp? I mean, it just lays there under the hair, not doing much but flaking off every now and them.

But hear me out. Have you ever had a scalp massage? Try it. It’s glorious! You can do it to yourself, yes, but when done by someone else it’s uber relaxing. My hairstylist does it sometimes when she washes my hair and I get goosebumps! She did it while using this shampoo once and OMG!

I started using Rene Furterer Carthame (from Paris, don’t you know) because of her. The shampoo is made of plant extracts and is all natural and good food for your hair and scalp. It’s not like it tingles or anything like that. Just try it, you’ll see. It’s normal shampoo, only better.

Until now, I haven’t paid attention to my scalp. But I shoulda been.

Nothing is like a miracle cure for unruly hair, to be sure. But since using this stuff, my hair has been very shiny and mostly cooperative – except for those pesky grays! Damn you, aging.

I do, in fact, give my scalp a little massage every time I use the shampoo and just that little bit of time in the hot shower, working my fingers over my head, feels amazing. I’ll leave it at that with the hot shower business (ahem).

On to grosser stuff – when I get stressed out, my head flakes. It’s like eczema up there, and it’s itchy and embarrassing. But I haven’t had any of that since using this shampoo. That’s the first time my head hasn’t gone all scaly on me since I don’t know how long. And it’s not like I don’t have stress in my life anymore. As if!

That’s why I’m addicted to this shampoo. It makes my hair look lovely and I don’t have to worry about wiping my shoulders like a dandruff shampoo commercial. Whew.

photo credit: the Italian voice

I’m notorious for always playing catch-up. If it’s not on work, it’s on sleep, bills, exercise…you name it. I even have to play catch-up with my book club sometimes!

Argh.

It’s aggravating and stressful. But with the new year, I made a commitment to get my catch-up pile caught-up and to make it a new habit to stay that way. Here’s the strategies I’ve been employing…so far, I’m making headway.

Be Realistic. There’s only so many hours in a day, a week, and a lifetime. So be realistic in what you commit to. Can you really take on another volunteer project without sacrificing either your personal or family time? Can you take it on without hindering your effectiveness elsewhere? If you’re a freelancer, I highly recommend using something like Freshbooks or another timer for your desktop so you know exactly how long tasks take you; I’ve often budgeted only 30 minutes for something but later found out it took me 75 minutes instead.

Prioritize. What do you really want to do? This is applicable whether you’re a dealing with a work situation or a personal one. What’s important to you? After working far too much last year, I decided that I was going to prioritize my clients and work with only the ones I liked best. Not only was it a relief, it was nice to be able to devote my full energy in just a few places.

Focus on One Thing Each Day. Endless to-do lists can be totally overwhelming. What’s the most important thing you need to get accomplished today? It might be a load of laundry or it might be a 10-page proposal. Whatever it is, tackle that first and devote your full attention to it; then, work on the rest of the list.

Schedule When You’re Sharp. What time of day do you think most clearly? For me, it’s right around 4:15 a.m. The house is quiet and I’ve had one cup of coffee. From 4:15 to 4:30 is when I sit down and plan out my entire day. By employing a realistic approach to how long things really take me, I’m much better prepared to set a realistic goal for the day.

photo credit: ASurroca

As many of you know, we don’t live on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. We don’t live in an exclusive neighborhood in San Francisco. We live in Portland, Maine.

Now, that’s not to say that we don’t have our fair share of challenges within the school system. As with every other state, the budget is underfunded, the teachers are tired, and heaven help you if you try and talk to the administration about “changing” something in your kid’s schedule.

What we don’t worry about is preschool and, for the most part, we don’t worry all that much about the elementary school either. We have several elementary schools and your kid either goes to the school in your neighborhood or you pay an exorbitant tuition rate to get them into a private school.

In our area of the country, most families don’t have the funds to pay for private school…$19,000 for part-time Kindergarten? Ha!

So when I was talking with a friend who lives near Atlanta the other day, and she was telling me that they don’t think they’ll be able to get their daughter into the elementary school they like, it seemed like a totally foreign concept to me. What was even more strange was the conversation that continued.

As it turns out, she is contemplating running for a position on the school’s Board so her children will get priority during the enrollment lottery.

In my head, she just started toeing the line of “a little bit crazy.” Taking on additional work, in addition to the career she already runs, plus all the volunteering she does, plus running a household, just so she can be sure that her kids are able to get into the school they prefer? I feel like that’s a lot of work for an elementary education.

Now, admittedly, I have contemplated taking a part-time gig with an extremely prestigious high school (with an annual tuition rate of well over 30,000) so our older daughter can attend at a discounted rate. But our high school situation is dismal and we’ll end up paying tuition of some sort anyway because we’ve already decided she will not attend public high school.

But I wouldn’t try to take a job just so she might have the possibility of getting in the door through a lottery system.

I told my friend I thought she was crazy, and I maintain my stance on that. But it made me wonder what other parents would do to get their kids into preschool or elementary school. Are all elementary school educations created equal?

Have you ever dealt with this situation? How did you handle it? Would you sacrifice your time to volunteer on the outside chance that your child could attend a specific elementary or preschool?

I have other friends that live in Manhattan and they talk about preschool waiting lists when they start trying to get pregnant…again, I think this crazy, but I feel like living in Manhattan is like living in a different country anyway.

Let’s discuss. I’m so curious to hear your thoughts on this. And by all means, if you have done something specific to get your child into a particular school, tell me. Maybe I’m missing something really obvious here.

photo credit: nasa hq photo

In the midst of this winter greyness, it’s refreshing to see bright spring dresses at Target. I was just looking at the Jason Wu line at Target – Woot!

Yes, Jason Wu, who shot to stardom after dressing the First Lady for the Inaugural Ball has a Target line. I love how a designer is now considered BIG TIME when they create a look for big box stores. Remember when it was the other way around…ala Jacqueline Smith?

Anyway, Target has some incredible stuff for Spring. And not just Jason Wu – who admittedly has great dresses if not short dresses. Best paired with leggings in my 40-year-old opinion!

I found 2 really great Merona dresses, the Tie Waist and the Trapunto, that would look lovely with a different belt and maybe a long grandpa cardigan. I always switch belts. I think it adds personality and style, don’t you?

Tie Waist by Merona

Trapunto by Merona

But they are only available on line…so get thee to Target.com for a little Spring in your winter step.

photo credit: Target.com

This just in from the fashion people: color, color, color. Have you seen the new neon? It’s everywhere. Pink. Green. Orange. Just SCREAMING AT YOU.

Peruse J Crew‘s new arrivals and, if you’re my age, you’ll start singing the Thompson Twins or Spandau Ballet what for all the 80s influence. At least color wise.

That said, since I’m terrified of color (Yes, that’s right. It scares me), I’m totally intrigued with the new look coming out. I dream of being able to wear ORANGE and not going around apologizing to everyone I see for being so loud. It’s not that I’m meek minded as much as I like to blend.

But I won’t be blending in neutrals! I went for a hike with a friend this past weekend and she had on a deep turquoise sweatshirt with a neon orange vest and a blue-green scarf. What with her deep red hair, she looked amazing! Just amazing. For a hike!

So she’s inspired me to venture out a bit. Try some color.

I bought a hot pink scarf. Woooo hoooo.

Images via J Crew.

When’s the last time you were in school? For some of us, it was recent…maybe we got married and had babies in the middle of our college careers and went back after the kids were in school. For others of us, it’s been a while. We finished up college, then decided to work for a bit and then start a family.

We all have our own story.

But no matter how different that story is, I’ve found that more often than not, we have one thing in common: we love to learn.

As women, it seems ingrained in us. It might be learning to cook, or maybe to coupon. Or maybe we enjoy learning about healing practices like yoga and meditation.

What intrigues you? And better yet, what are you doing about it?

When I decided that I wanted to learn a second language this late in life, I looked at all the usual suspects. The local community college, the local university, an online program…even the esteemed Rosetta Stone. And then someone suggested I take a look at my local adult education offerings.

Initially I scoffed at the idea. Me? In adult ed? Surely there was nothing there for me. I had visions of high school dropouts seeking their GEDs, unemployed neighbors sitting through career counseling, and groups of women trying to learn how to quilt. Looking back at my initial attitude, I’d love to go back and slap myself silly. How judgmental of me!

What finally warmed me up to the idea was another friend that I spoke to who told me she had taken both a sushi-making cooking class and a book binding course through adult ed. This caught my attention for two reasons: a) the vast difference in both of those subjects meant adult ed must have some serious choices and b) she’s a far more judgmental person than I will ever be and if she could hack it, I knew I could.

So I started browsing the catalog online and I was astonished at what I found. They were offering classes on a vast spectrum of things like cooking, beer making, yoga, meditation, Zumba classes, adult kickball (rock on!), several foreign languages, several office skills prep classes, and a host of other stuff. In short, there was really something for everyone!

And the price was ridiculously affordable!! One of the reasons I shied away from the local college was price; the other was class size. At adult ed I paid $125 (including my textbook) for a 7-week course which consisted of exactly 10 people. Talk about some serious one-on-one learning time! What’s better, I knew ahead of time (based on the catalog) that if I chose to take the next level of Italian, I would have the same instructor. That was also a huge selling point for me because he would already be familiar with my ability.

So I signed up. And at my first class guess what I found? A whole bunch of other busy moms that thought learning Italian was a total splurge! They were doing it for themselves. Not because they had to, but because they wanted to learn a “romantic” language. It didn’t have to be useful. In fact, for several of them, that was quite the point. It made it feel more like it was “just for them.”

I had more fun in that class and made more new friends in that 7 weeks than I’ve made in countless hours volunteering at the school or hanging out at the local playground. We were women that had something in common. It was a great place to launch a friendship from.

In short, the vision I had about adult ed was all wrong. And in fact, had I ended up going a more traditional route (like through the college), I probably would have felt ridiculously out of place. I’m so thrilled that I went through the adult ed program. Next time, I’ll continue my language studies, but I’m also considering taking a Zumba class or a jewelry-making class (something I’ve always wanted to learn!!). For the price I’ll pay for those classes, I’ll get weeks of brain-stimulating-out-of-the-house-on-my-own time…and who knows how many new friends I’ll make in the process.

photo credit: Mr. T in DC

Tell me, do you tell stories to your kids? I mean off the cuff, from memory, stumble around making a wordy fool of yourself stories without the aid of a book or TV? It’s super hard. Super. Hard.

When my older daughter was 2 and just became a big sister, she stopped eating. Not in a hunger protest sort of way, or at least I don’t let myself believe that she was that upset about her new baby sister. But thinking back, she probably was. She probably used the only power she had, and that was refusing to open her mouth.

So at dinner time, I made up a story about Maria the pink winged ladybug who LOVED mac and cheese. Maria just sort of flew out of my mouth and gobbled up all the dinner in sight. It was a very flabby, awkward story. But it was a hit. My little birdie silently opened her mouth as I methodically shoveled her food in, gabbing all the time about Maria and her antics to get her mother to make her more mac and cheese.

Ever since that night, Maria has been a constant avatar/teaching tool for my daughters and me. She goes to the doctor and gets shots. While we traveled around Europe, Maria flew on ahead and reported back all the fun new things there were to see and do. In short, Maria is part of our family. And she’s precocious but thoughtful, funny and empathetic. She’s a toddler in a thin disguise.

The best thing about Maria is that she allows me to have teaching moments with my girls that don’t involve lectures. Yes, I do lecture because I’m a mom and it happens; it needs to happen sometimes. But often I’ll default to having Maria learn the lesson and, by osmosis, my girls pick the lesson up, too, along the way.

A quick tip on story telling: the more visual, the better. Get down and dirty with specifics. Odd specifics like the yellow tie the doctor wore that flapped forward every time he leaned close, the green grass bending over with the strong wind, a tooth that was colored in by a brown crayon after a playground tumble. The details make the story more story-like and less lesson-y.

Try it. And don’t get discouraged. Your kid is no critic. She or he will probably relish in the cuddle time, hearing your voice and your eye contact more than the plot or character development.

Go forth. Spread stories.

photo credit: pareeerica

By now we’ve probably all heard about dry shampoo and the minutes it saves us when we are looking a little more greasy than glam, but did you know about the off-label genius of baby wipes, your hair iron or a sharpie?

Neither did I. Of course, I do know that baby wipes are amazing at many things that don’t involve baby bottoms, but I’ve never used one to de-lint myself. Apparently, it works better than my trusty duct tape rolled sticky side out around my hand. For moms on the go, who are sure to have baby wipes stuffed in a bag more so than a roll of duct tape, this idea is brilliance.

Fixing your hair and find a few wrinkles on your shirt that you didn’t see as you pulled it out of the jam packed closet? Simply re-purpose your hair iron as an iron iron. Swiftly, though. You don’t want to burn anything. Still. Amazing.

And finally, a sharpie. My absolute best friend for odd uses. Did you know that on a dark stained floor a sharpie can hide a scratch like nobody’s business. And walnut veneer dining tables, too. Once, my mother-in-law absent mindedly kicked one of the legs to our table and chipped off a very large bit of the veneer. What I couldn’t glue back on, I colored in with my trusty sharpie and VOILA! Near perfection restored. Of course, that’s for the home. A sharpie is also awesome for hiding scuffs on your heels. Awesome.

Got any quick fixes us gals and guys shouldn’t be living without?!?

Image credit: redspotted

In a word: glamorous. But since ‘glamor’ and ‘mom’ usually are mutually exclusive, that’s not what I’m talking about. I know, I know, all moms can be (and should be!) considered glamorous just by being us. Right? Right?

Whatever. The real world knows differently.

But, one of the cool things we can take home after this weekend’s gawk-fest is diamond stud earrings, the color nude, and mermaid fishtail dresses.

All three of these I can totally see doing! OK, only two. My daughter can rock the mermaid look and I’ll leave her to it.

I gotta get me some diamond (diamondique, diamonelle, or some other diamond look alike is fine by me) studs! Apparently the bigger the better.

As for nude clothing, this sort of scares me. Not as much as color scares me, so there’s that. And the other trend coming off the runway is color!!!!! So maybe in my middle of the road fashion you’ll see me in a lovely nude shirt with a colorful scarf around my neck.

Did you see Heidi Klum’s nude dress gathering?

Are you game for flattering the lovely ladies of the Globes by imitating?

Image credit: MTV Style

Jonathan Adler, who was once told that he should just give up pottery already – by his professor, no less – clearly isn’t a good listener. And good thing! He’s come out with yet another line of pottery that I can’t take my eyes off: the Relief collection.

Inspired by Mother Earth, and really, what an inspiration she is! Oh, I want to be like her when I grow up. She’s so earthy and motherly.

Adler has made stalk, eddy and sprout vases that look, honestly, just like you think they would, only better. And more lovely. Don’t get me started on the thistle and bramble vases either.

His large anemone bowl is less ‘bowl’ and more ‘fold a leaf in half to make a cup’ bowl.

Talk about whimsy. Just like his mantra: happy chic. These pots may be earthly pots inspired by natural wonders, but they are heavenly for the home.

photo credits: JonathanAdler.com

For most moms a quick cheese sauce is easy: Kraft. Open packet. Add milk. Done.

But! There is another way. Something *almost* as quick and infinitely yummier and healthier. Though, we’re talking cheese sauce so I use the term ‘healthy’ loosely.

I thought of this – well, I’m lying, my sister-in-law thought of this – when I opened my “cheese drawer” and found an entire collection of cheese nubs. Lots and lots of just a smidge of cheese left. Not enough for snacking or doing anything with. Too much for throwing away.

As I dumped them all out on the counter to see what goodness was there, I realized that A) I like me some cheese and B) I’m too frugal for my own good and, finally C) I am the product of my mother – I use to tease her mercilessly about all the cheese she left to rot in the fridge.

Now, that’s me!

So, instead of letting these little forlorn ends rot away, I (with my husband’s sister’s expertise) made a delicious cheese sauce. It’s almost as easy as melting them all together in a pot. Almost. You need a secret ingredient…and that is…mustard.

Just a touch.

The fancy mac and cheese recipes that I know of call for mustard seed and I’m sure there is a reason for this. I never have mustard seed. But I do have Dijon or some other sharp mustard on hand, usually at all times. Just a touch will give the cheese some life.

Or – and I think this is brilliant – you can always faux-fondue your sauce and add some dry white wine. Just a little when you’re melting the butter. Talk about good.

So, here’s the recipe. Please pardon the lack of measuring, but since this was born from cheese stubs, well, I didn’t bother with particulars.

• Melt 1-3 pads of butter in pan
• Add 1 teaspoon mustard (or a big splash of wine)
• Add 1/4 cup of flour and be sure to not brown it (you don’t need much, just enough to have the cheese not get gloppy)
• Stir in 1 cup milk (you might need more, depending on the amount of cheese sauce you need)
• Throw in the cheese – you’re going to want at least 1-2 cups

Stir until thick but be sure to not have it get gloppy. If it does, stir some flour in a little milk (so it’s not lumpy) and then add to your sauce, stirring away, until it is nice and creamy.

Done!

Add to anything. Pasta, broccoli, hot dogs, crackers, fingers. Everything tastes better with cheese.

A quick note about what cheeses to use. White soft-ish cheeses are best. Cheddar makes everything better. Don’t be afraid of stinky toe-y cheeses (like blue); just use a small amount because a little goes a long way. Basically, if you’re clearing out your own cheese drawer to do this, then you’ll automatically have the kind of cheeses you like.

Enjoy!

photo credit: gadl