With two kids, we’ve gone through a lot of daycare. We’ve had nannies, babysitters, and a daycare provider. Each had their own idiosyncrasies and each tested our patience in one way or another.

But they all had one thing in common: we treated them extremely well.

Now, I don’t say this because I’m trying to be all braggy-braggy or toot my own horn. But it’s true. We have a tendency to indulge our care providers a little bit…because, after all, our children spent a lot of time with them. In many ways, our care providers had as much to do with shaping their little minds as we did. We certainly didn’t want to tick them off!

I’ve talked before about the trials and tribulations of choosing childcare. It can be a tricky and stressful situation (most often more stressful for you than for your little one). But finding care is just half the battle; once you charge this person with the care and keeping of your child, you need to be sure to treat them right, too.

Why? Because, in case you wondered, your kid is not always an angel. Sometimes, yes, Little Johnny is great for five days straight. But inevitably, there’s going to be more than one occasion where Little Johnny thumps Little Tommy over the train set and it’s not going to be pretty. Sure, there will be tears. Maybe some dramatic screaming. Probably some time out. And sure, that might be a little stressful for your child…but what about for the person who’s caring for him.

Can you imagine how stressful that job is? I can tell you firsthand (since I worked at my older daughter’s daycare when she was a baby), taking care of kids all day is no picnic my friends. In fact, looking back at it now, I can’t believe I even had the energy to take care of my own kid after being around 12 screaming banshees for 10 1/2 hours each day. And if you think some parents don’t take advantage of a full 7 am to 5:30 pm schedule, you’re crazy. There are parents who do take advantage of it — either because their work schedule demands it or simply because they feel like they’re paying for it so they might as well use it.

And when you take care of kids all day, there’s nothing worse than a parent that doesn’t appreciate all the time you’ve spent loving their kid, even when he or she had the most difficult day in the history of days. Know what I mean?

So here’s a few things you can do to show your provider how much you really do appreciate all that they do.

Give them a paid vacation. Depending on the kind of care situation you have, your provider may not get a “paid” vacation. Some daycares work paid time off into their contracts, but many don’t. If you have a nanny, it’s up to you to say they’ll get a paid week off. Or, just surprise them and say, “Hey, we’re giving you a paid week off in April!”

Be on time. I know that it’s tempting to suck every last minute of daycare out of the day when you can. After all, you’re paying for it, right? But being on time (or perhaps early) is such a fabulous thing.

Take stock in what she likes. And be sure to treat her often. If you have a nanny, stock her favorite foods in the house or buy her a special stash of K-cups. If you take your child to daycare, drop off a care package every now and again.

Provide supplies. This is particularly important if your child attends daycare. Art supplies are accounted for in the price that you pay each week, but there’s often a need for extra supplies. Ask if you can donate supplies.

Be realistic about your child. This should go without saying, but you need to acknowledge that sometimes your child will be in the wrong. If your provider approaches you about a difficult situation that occurred during the day, be open to hearing what she has to say. And above all, be willing to work with your provider to reinforce the way she handled the situation.

photo credit: childcarecenter.us

What if I could tell you how to make your home more peaceful?

Would you like to read something like that?

How would you like to reduce conflict in your house, to have your child actually listen to you the first time you speak?

Will you keep reading?

But wait, OK? I don’t sound like an authority, do I? Why on earth would you believe anything I just said? How many questions can I ask you before you just tune out??? And can you hear your inner voice rising at the end of each questions, further weakening everything?

Ahhh. Questioning our kids to deafness.

There is a common misconception in families today, that families are democracies. They aren’t. Families are dictatorships. Now the dictator – you – can be a benevolent dictator, but you are a dictator all the same and that’s how it should be.

Or you can think of yourself as the Kind and the Queen if you’d like. That’s a little more regal and it plays perfectly into your little prince’s or princess’s conception of his or her toddler self.

The point is, the parent holds the power. Period. And it’s your job to not give that power away by asking questions. Because when you ask, you hand over your power to the one answering. Just think, the answer can be, and often is, ‘no.’ So the chase begins with a battle of the wills and ends with the parent trying to regain the power. All because of questions.

What’s with all the questions?

Let’s start with the why because until you understand what you’re doing, you cannot change it.

As adults, we equate freedom with choices, especially in America where consumerism has evolved to a point where we are bombarded with choices at every turn. The more choices the better – just stand in front of any milk aisle and you’ll see – organic, 1%, 2%, whole, raw, lactose free, soy and on and on. Now think of your self as small as a toddler and picture that same aisle. “I just want milk!”

As parents, it’s our duty to teach our children how to make choices eventually. Until then, we make the choices for them.

In a broad sense – and everyone has their own biography, so this is generalizing – we offer choices because we think it feels better to make a choice. It’s empowering. I decided! I’m the decider! But that’s imposing our issues on our children.

Children are not little adults. To them, choice is scary. They look to us to make the environment safe and secure so they can work on their work.

Taking the reins: changing questions into actions

Now on to changing questions into loving language.

Replace, “would you like…” with “it’s time to (fill in activity)”

Don’t say “will you please” say “now you may”

Not “can you” but “we will now”

Own it. Plant your feet solidly in the ground and be the complete human to emulate. You teach them more about making choices by making the choices, not by having someone else (them) do it. Even more important, children learn inner authority from observing your authority.

Stick to it. This may be hard to hear, but it takes 3 weeks to form a new (or break) a habit. So stay strong.

Your thinking “what???? No questions???” And no. No questions. Well, there is 1 question that is valid to ask. ONE. “Where does it hurt?” And even that doesn’t have to be a question. “Show me where it hurts.”

See, you can do this.

photo credit: Marco Bellucci

Suri Cruise really started this, ya know? Maybe not the act of children wearing high heels and make-up, but given her fame, she definitely started the media and public debate over what is too much, too soon.

And even though I got totally worked up about Toddlers and Tiaras, I’ve never really paid much attention to what Suri was doing…I’m not her mom and I have my own kids to worry about. But then, the other day, we saw a little girl that we know very well. She is all of six-year-old, and she was out with her friends playing…when I stopped to say “hello” to her, I realized that she was wearing powder, metallic lip gloss, and dangling earrings. And when I say dangling, I mean, I wouldn’t have worn them for fear they’d catch on something.

For whatever reason, this got my undies in a bunch. Maybe because I care about this little girl…maybe because I’m staring 13 in the face with my oldest and realize how quickly they’re forced to grow up once they start middle school.

My personal belief is that kids need time to be kids. I’m not sure when our sudden obsession with making them in to mini-adults started…do you know? And how do we stop it?

I know some parents that try to shelter their kids from it. No television, no movies. Only specific toys. But I don’t necessarily think this is the answer either. What happens when they start school with more kids than not that are fully away of TV-land…do they become more socially awkward?

Though I would take socially awkward over teenager-trapped-in-a-kindergartener’s body any day.

So what can we do to keep our kids age-appropriate? I feel more pressured than ever to answer this question given we have a toddler that idolizes her teenage sister.

Set Reasonable Expectations…And Stick to Them

One thought…dress-up is only for home, right? So how about we keep a big old-fashioned dress up box, filled with “fancy” clothes, hats, and shoes, right smack in the middle of the living room? “Sure you can wear high-heels! But when we go outside, we’re putting our Converse back on.”

Limit the Shows They’re Watching on Television

At almost-13, the big battle we have with our oldest is why she can’t watch Jersey Shore. “But all my friends get to watch it! When I go to so-and-so’s house, we stay up all night and watch it.” In my head I’m thinking, “Thanks for letting me know that because now I’m probably not going to let you go over there anymore,” but what I say is, “That’s terrific! But since you’re currently at our house, you won’t be watching it.”

With our youngest, it’s a battle over Ni Hao Kai-Lan. But that’s not so bad. I do worry about later on though. We can set parental controls on the television, but is it worth investing in something like the Peel Remote so that any television offerings are tailored to our preferences for her?

Telling Our Kids They’re Smart and Beautiful, Every. Single. Day.

I often wonder if the obsession with growing up too fast is in part because girls (and I don’t intentionally leave boys out of the mix here, but I think they are less affected by this particular situation) associate being beautiful with being thin, scantily-clad, and fully made-up. So maybe just reminding our kids that they are absolutely smart, strong, and beautiful every day will help. Maybe.

What are your thoughts? How do you curb kids’ enthusiasm for make-up and fancy shoes? How do you satisfy their need to look like “a big girl” when they’re still so young?

photo credit: frerieke

Have you seen one of the latest Wells Fargo ads about their saving program? It stars a lovely kindergarten teacher, possibly 1st grade. Doesn’t matter really. She’s a teacher of small kiddos. She’s talking about needing to save money in order to buy her classroom art supplies. Like a good bank, Wells Fargo is there to help her.

What is wrong with this picture?!?

I don’t mean to get up on my high horse or anything but seriously! Wells Fargo, get a grip!

YES. There is no money in school budgets for art class. (IMO, that’s a crime because art can teach you anything! Fractions? Hello woodworking. Chemistry? Umm, painting, photography, ceramics. I could go on but you get the picture.)

YES. Teachers don’t get paid nearly enough. Well, they do loaf around all summer, twiddling their thumbs and eating bon bons, so no, clearly they shouldn’t make a living wage. Add to that, they deal with children for only 3/4 of a day. I mean, how hard is it to wipe someone’s butt, tame the tantrums, negotiate classroom peace, oh AND actually teach something to our future leaders? Seriously, teachers, you should be paying us parents for the privilege…

So part of me actually is happy Wells Fargo shined a little light on that skeleton in our public policy closet. But. Don’t you think you’d be doing more good as a bank by helping to create an “art fund” or a “classroom activities” fund or anything else that puts you, as a major corporation, in the drivers seat of dealing with the problem and not as an enabler, putting band-aids on the poor teachers?

I’m not talking about anything big, either. I mean, what if the bank made it all local? At a local branch you can drop in a dollar at the bank and they’ll match it. Even $100 could be raised for a local school. Whatever. It doesn’t really matter how it all falls out.

What matters is that Wells Fargo’s message of being a bank who cares rings hollow with this ad and it bums me out every time I see it.

Have you seen it? Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill here?

photo credit: prayitno

Crying. Let’s first define it. Crying is tears. It can lead to screaming and kicking and shaking.

Crying isn’t whining. Crying isn’t meowing. Crying isn’t going boneless and falling to the floor to get what you want. Also not crying: sweating, coughing, shaking and even throwing up. But all that can lead to true crying.

Where do all those tears come from? Who knows. It could be hunger or tiredness. Your child could be digesting images – screen images or billboards or the newspaper or book covers – that they don’t understand. Loud music. Tension in the home or even passing someone in a fight on the street. A dog barking. Anything. The point is, tears are a clearing out and we don’t have to know why. Don’t even ask.

For adults, crying is no fun. It can be embarrassing. Crying can leave us vulnerable, even week and emotionally exhausted. But that is all of our own stuff, our problem. No fun. Young children don’t carry any of that.

For children crying = release. Just like blowing their nose, or letting the snot just ooze out even. You don’t get all anxious and angry when your tot blows his nose a lot. You just think, wow! That’s a lot of snot. And therein lies a healthy mind set for parents when dealing with a crying child.

Healthy Tears

Tears are actually good for the body. They release toxins. They help the body relax by eliminating tension. Those little bodies can’t contain all that is going on inside them so they have to release it and that’s where the tears come from.

On the flip side, unexpressed tears become issues in and of themselves: tummy aches, sleep problems, night frights, whining! By allowing the tears, you’ll shorten the crying fits over time and might even save yourself from dealing with the ripple effects.

Let It Go

Remember, children are not attached to the feelings behind things. They are what they do, not what they feel about what they do. When a child is sorting, she is a sorter. When she is crying she’s a crier and then she moves on to be a stick picker upper. There is none of that, “Oh my gosh, I just broke down in front of all those people and snot came out of my nose and what will they ever think of me.” None of that. Again, that’s our stuff.

Also our stuff: judgement by others. When our kids cry, we think it reflects on our parenting skills. Even when we’re alone because we judge ourselves. Newsflash: crying doesn’t reflect badly on you as a parent. In fact, a parent who let’s their kid cry at length has cajones! Really. Think about seeing a mom just standing there on the sidewalk letting her child have a tantrum, not even needing to be propped up by any one or anything. Just standing there letting the child cry. You can tell, she’s taped her inner windows and is bravely riding out that hurricane, knowing it will end. Sometime.

There is no talking a kid out of crying. There is no distracting them from what they are doing. They are criers, remember. In the moment. There will be no long term attachment.

So rid your mind of fixing it. Whatever it is. Because the only fix is letting the crying happen.

Tips to Help

Here is language to help you help your child cry:

• Get your sads out
• Come to the crying station, when you are all done we will put on your shoes together
• I have just the job for strong hands (in case of crying AND hitting)
• (if your child refuses) When you are done, we will do it together

Remember, young children (yes, even your young children) want to be good and helpful. They just might need to see that need through the forest, so you’ll have to pull the trees aside a bit for them. Engage their sense of wonder to distract them if you absolutely have to get out of the house or on your way. Pick a bird in the sky, something in the window, a squirrel running up a tree, anything (!) to change their focus and quickly put their coat on while you’re talking. This is less distraction and more giving them an out. You’re giving them the ability to re-engage.

Listen, this isn’t easy. Tantrums in our toddlers often cause us to dig in our own heels. But in a battle of wills, they will win. You will lose. Every time. You will lose. It’s not because they are better than you at being stubborn, it’s because they are what they do. If they are refusing they are REFUSERS! IT’S WHO THEY ARE! You need to navigate with your wily ways around this wall of refusal and appeal to what naturally flows through them: goodness.

photo credit: Pedro Klien

In some, this character trait is as innate as yawning. It doesn’t need to be taught because it just is. My younger daughter is like this. She has this ability to intuit just what you need, just when you need it. It’s remarkable and I am utterly in love with her for it.

I don’t know if she has telepathic hearing or can read my thoughts, but when I need to find my keys, there she is with them. Seriously. When her sister is crying she often hunts for Amy, the lovey, and simply hands her to her. I don’t know if she’ll still be able to flex this character muscle as she ages, but I hope so. She could be the next baby whisperer, or set new standards for the future ‘mu girl Friday’s.’

Social intelligence is more than intuition though. It has to do with reading people’s motivations, verbally and non-verbally. We all wear our feelings under our public veneers. Some hide them better than others. And the socially intelligent person typically sees these with their X-ray eyes.

Think Bill Clinton and his “I feel your pain.” Love him or hate him you must admit, the guy could read people and situations. Even if his empathy was forced, it was there.

The stand out lesson here, for me, is listening. Active and engaged hearing. It’s the key to empathy.

As an aside, I am a very socially intelligent person myself. I grew up the baby of a family with an alcoholic parent. My survival depended on knowing how to read a room. No one taught me, I just knew when it was going to be a good night and when it wasn’t. With some distance I can say it’s a blessing, really, to have a background like that. Although I’m happy to say you can get the same result through vastly different means. I used to think the trauma of it caused me to be emotionally and socially hyper aware. Seeing the trait in my younger daughter, though, lightens me a bit because I know her loving home lacks the same drama mine did and she’s so similar to me.

For your children, especially the young ones, you can ask if they have their listening ears on. It’s simple. It’s visual. It’s understandable. And, since kids mostly want to be helpful, this allows them to change their ‘non-listening’ behavior in a positive way.

I do this often and it works. Like a charm. I touch their ears. Look for foxes nesting deep inside. Anything to visually point out that my words are not getting through.

I also talk about interrupting and patient waiting. A child can grasp waiting patiently if you start small and exercise this ability. Naturally, babies understand the flow of conversation long before they understand the words. It’s because they pick up inflection and rhythm. Listen closely to baby babble and often you’ll notice that babies wait for you to respond so they can respond. Back and forth. Like a conversation. That’s patient waiting.

But then kids learn words and those words spill out like lava from their open mouths. And they forget to work on their listening and waiting.

Another way to teach this is to really pay attention to what your child is saying and how they are saying it. If you can show them that you understand them on many levels, then you are showing them what it feels like to be understood. Often I kneel and look my kids in the eye when they talk to me and I talk to them. It’s a physical manifestation of empathy.

Lastly, and I hesitate to mention it because once out of the bag, this cat’s not going back in. But. You can talk about the ‘why’ of it all. Why a friend might have said or reacted some way. Why your child might have been at the receiving end of a punch. I kind of hate the why question, personally, because the answer often leads down the road of labeling behavior and the never ending stream of the whys. But still. It’s an option if your up for it.

Next up on the character lessons: self control.

Previous character lessons: Zest, Grit

photo credit: aurostar739

Everybody with me now: AAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhmaaaaazing grace. How sweet the sound.

For those days when you need to leave all your rejects behind and walk through the door.

photo credit: MHMB

I can’t resist.

When is the last time you had a conversation centered around small things and not the big, honking pachyderm in the room? It hasn’t happened to me in a while, but maybe I wouldn’t know because I’d be in denial.

Hmmmm.

Next time that happens, though, I’m gonna think of this guy.

photo credit: David Blackwell.

Cute kid, right? Playing in the leaves all jovial like.

That’s our toddler, perfecting the art of the stall. The, “If I’m really cute right now, they really won’t make me go inside” face. Hrmph.

This has happened with both of our kids. In fact, the only days that our oldest has not stalled when it came to going to school is the first day of every new school year—after all, she has a new outfit to show off. So, basically, 8 days in total we’ve had a happy school morning.

Our youngest stalls at bedtime…and I hear this is a common problem. I have a friend who recently mentioned that, at bedtime, after giving her daughter kisses on the nose, cheeks, eyelids, eyebrows…the list goes on and on…her daughter shouted “kiss my nostrils!” as she walked out the door. It is obvious that she has also mastered the art of stalling (kind of like this little girl).

L, who is a bit younger, is just now figuring it out. Until now, going anywhere and doing anything has been exciting. I’d like to say this is because I’m such a super-awesome parent who can make even bedtime a fabulous experience she looks forward to, it’s more likely that she’s just naive. But last night, 5 days before her 2nd birthday, she showed signs of the stalling technique.

We were leaving Macy’s when she decided she was going to “sleep,” which involved her face-planting herself down on the floor. When I told her we had to go, she informed me I had to ask “YeYe” (a character on the Ni Hao Kai-Lan cartoon). I eventually coaxed her out of the store, but it made me realize it was time to get my “stop stalling arsenal” in order. Here’s a few tips you might also be able to use.

Set up a routine…and never deviate. Ok, that might be a little dramatic, but when I say “never deviate,” I mean “even when your in-laws are complaining that you have to leave Christmas dinner two hours before everyone else, stick to your routine.” Having a set routine signals your kiddo that it’s time to wind down and sets their expectations for what comes next or to gear up and get ready for school. Think about how upset you get when your routine is thrown off. If your child is old enough and really difficult during certain parts of the day (whether it’s getting out the door or going to bed) you could also use a rewards chart.

Employ the “When you _____, then you can _____” tactic. I’m famous for this. Forget about rewarding the kid for doing something she’s supposed to do anyway. She wants a drink? “When you put on your pajamas, then you can have a drink.” Bribery? Pretty much. But does it work? At our house it seems to.

Be the grown-up. Now, I’m not suggesting that you’re not the grown-up, but it’s easy to get sucked in to those sweet little pleas for things. You know exactly what I’m talking about. The older they get, the more independent they become and as parents, we long for the days when they want to snuggle up and give us a little love. They employ the “big eyes,” and the soft, high-pitched voice. Never are we more vulnerable to the power of the stall. But be firm. You have to set the limit or you’ll never get anywhere. As hard as it may be, you just have to remind yourself that this experience will not scar them for life.

Start taking things away. No, I don’t necessarily think that you need to take things they enjoy away as a punishment, but if you take out all the unnecessary steps from Point A to Point B, any routine will go more smoothly. This might mean to have a bowl of dry cereal on the table with a small jug of milk ready when they get up…if they can just sit down and pour the milk on the cereal, it’s harder for them to get distracted by the 500 other options in the cupboards. If you give them only three options for bedtime stories or one toothbrush at bedtime, again, options are limited and things should run a little more smoothly.

Pile on the praise. Not a reward necessarily, and definitely something you should be giving your kid every day anyway, but piling on the praise works wonders. Kids love to know that they’ve done a good job. We’re full of “good job!”, “hooray!”, and “high fives!!” in this house. It sounds simplistic, but the kid isn’t even two yet. For our older one, we employ a range of “we’re proud of you” hallmarks that we randomly dole out when she’s done a great job in school, made a good choice socially, or just chosen to randomly do something helpful or considerate that we would not have asked her to do.

Good luck. And please do share your strategies for “stopping the stalling.” We can all use extra ideas.

photo credit: csis photography

A few weeks ago, our house was football central. My husband’s 49ers were up against my beloved Saints for a championship game. A Super Bowl lead up.

Now, let me back up and say that football is rarely, if ever, on in our house. Mainly because we spend Sunday’s at the in-laws. Also, we’re fair weather fans. Oh, my husband would tell you different. That I’m the fair weather fan. He’s right; I am. But still!

That said, for this championship game, we were pumped. Either way, there would be celebrating. I was hootin’ and hollerin’ most of the way. Then at the end, we looked like that whack-a-mole game. I’d pop off the couch and cheer only to plop down defeated. Then he’d jump up, fist in the air only to wither back to the couch. Each 30 seconds or so of the last 2 minutes we were crazed, jumping up or falling down.

Our kids wondered who we were and what we had done with their parents.

Raucous. Screaming. Clapping. “Get em, get em, get em!”

The 2 year old picked up the rant, too, only she did it consistently for both teams. Such a big heart, that girl.

Anyway, all this to say that after, when the game was off by hours, we were once again awash in screams. Only these were tear filled, tantrum screams. And it hit me – all of our excitement deposited itself inside my children, only to come oozing out of their eyes and mouths.

I looked over at my husband, deflated, and said, “We kinda did this, didn’t we?”

Good thing he took that the right way and together we realized that our two sponges had indeed soaked up the craziness of the day. And the only way they could release it was to cry. And cry they did.

It got me to thinking about tears and how to best deal with them – which I’ll cover later. But. Coming up is another big football day. The Super Bowl! So beware!

If you’re planning on watching it with the kids, do know that they will gorge on more than just the visual eye candy of the commercials and the boys in those tight pants! Whatever loud fun you’ll have in your house, you’ll have to figure out a way to wring your little child-sponges dry by the end of the day. For your own sanity.

Care.com has a great list of things to do with the kids pre-game and during the game. Like making flags or pom poms to wave around. They’ll be the cheering section; might as well give them props.

And after,  if you have a yard, re-create some of the game. Give them a football and chase them round and round. Or, if you’re too tired, have the doggie chase them! (kidding!) Just find a way to work them out. Exercise will be your best friend come night time

Oh, and last but not least…what yumminess are you cooking up? I love 7-layer dip, personally. This year, I think I might try these pigs in a blanket. What is your favorite junk-food for the big game?

photo credit: iamjohntmeyer

Haven’t laughed this hard in a while. I almost peed my pants and my cheeks ached.

It’s raunchy. And vulgar. And right on. Louis C. K. you are indeed brilliant if not sick. Completely sick. Good thing you can tell how much he genuinely loves his kids, even if he pretends otherwise.

Also, I love that he ribs people who watch TV since he works on TV. Can you say hypocrite?

image/video credit: YouTube/tonyjackson80

That’s right. That’s what I said. Don’t save for college. Why on earth would we, as parents, save, save, save for college when our children learn how to learn in KINDERGARTEN? You remember that book, All I Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten? Spend now…while your child’s mind is forming.

As parents, we owe it to our kids to educate them. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it’s our job. We love them, feed them, keep them safe and educate them. It’s what we do as parents. But for most folks, myself included, educating our kids translates into saving the big bucks for when our children go away to college.

Instead of pouring money into early childhood education we, collectively, have bought into the idea that extra curricular activities, honors classes and high school pressure will pave the way into a good college. The thinking is that college will allow my child to have a “successful” life.

By then, it’s too late.

Instead of coaxing supple minds to bend and weave like crossroads over the rocky terrain of information, we stick these wiggly little bodies behind desks and show them the straight concrete highway of knowledge. We do this in the hopes that we can fill their bucket with enough smarts so that they get into college, a good college, and can then use their minds.

It’s bonkers.

Listen, I’m no expert. I haven’t studied early childhood education. I’m not a teacher or politician or even social activist. But the way education is right now feels wrong to me. This is probably because I have teeny children just embarking on their educational journey so it’s in the forefront of my mind.

When kids are just waking up to the world is when we should foster their curiosity. As young children, they yearn to know. They can’t wait to learn. They want more, more, more.

Early childhood education is where it’s at. If you believe that you reap what you sow, then plant the seeds of learning early, don’t wait till their minds are no longer elastic to and try to cram the knowledge in.

For certain, college is important but more important to some than others. Also, I know that saving $200-$5,000 a year for 18 years will add up to a chunk of change for college and that it is more doable than spending up to $40,000 a year of private education each year while your children are young. I get that.

I’m just saying that lighting a fire in a child, as William Keats says education can be, is preferable to filling pails in hopes that little minds retain all that knowledge poured in. And focusing all our resources and attention on college may just be too little, too late.

photo credit: Môsieur J. [version 5.9a]

I must admit, I hated the Jimmy Kimmel Halloween candy prank. Yes, it was funny but it was also mean spirited. I know, I’m probably considered a downer mom for that, but seriously…Hey, let’s steal something precious to Johnny! Let’s be completely inconsiderate of his feelings! How funny! I’m sure he won’t take away anything bad from that…

Apparently, though, not only did that whole practical joke scheme pay off for the parents, it paid off for the kids who handled it the best. They got to go meet Jimmy Kimmel. I can only guess what the ripple effect that will have.

And that’s a trend to watch for this year – YouTube Nation. Capitalizing on your kid’s possible 5 minutes of fame (you know, because we all have shorter attentions spans these days, who gets 15 minutes any more?)

On a positive note, with the American Association of Pediatrics recommending less screen time (screen as in computer, phone, iWhatever as well as television), even with increased advances in technology we might just see a bit of more thoughtful parenting with regards to allowing kids to sit in front of screens.

But don’t take my word for it – BabyCenter’s Momformation weighs in on the coming year.

Thanks Momformation for hanging with us, giving us the skinny on this coming year.

photo credit: vramak