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Distraction: The Road To Toddler Peace?

Posted on 19. Jan, 2010 by Kate in Parenting

I’m reading this book called Your Two-Year-Old: Terrible or Tender. Yes, we’re there. Some days are worse than others, but I figure it can’t hurt to learn about the “typical” two year old behavior so I won’t think that I’m raising an urchin and that I’m a terrible mother…at least I can try, right?

Well, I’ve found some great information so far and I’m only part-way through. I may wind up doing a blow by blow review of the book if it continues to be as eye opening as it has been thus far. For now, here’s just a quick recap of the most important lesson I’ve learned.

Diversion.

You know when you get stuck in this round about with your kid with you suggesting something reasonable only to be met with “NO”? It goes something like this:

“Time for breakfast, do you want cottage cheese or yogurt?”
“No”
“Time to eat, cottage cheese or yogurt?”
“No”
“If you don’t decide, Mommy will decide for you…”
“No”
“Here is some yummy cottage cheese.”
“Yogurt”
“Ok, yogurt.”
“No”

First thing in the morning is a little rough. I’m off my game. I need food and even my decaf coffee before I can handle this road. Inevitably, I get frustrated and she doesn’t really eat anything until she sees my husband sitting down to eat his cereal and then THAT’S what she wants. Grapenuts. Have you ever seen a two year old eat dry Grapenuts with a spoon? It’s not pretty.

Now I’m off track…but you can understand my frustration level with the constant “No” and the tantrums and the rigidity. It starts early and stays with me most of the day and I can’t say that I like it. I don’t want to be this woman – I want to be patient and reasonable with strict boundaries and limits that I can enforce without losing my cool. Ha!

So, back to the book. I was reading this part about distraction – how it can marvelously deter a two year old so I tried it this morning. My daughter was upset about something I can’t even remember now and out of the blue I said, “where is Sophie’s agua?” She turned and went in to her room to fetch her water. Tears, miraculously gone.

The trick is to have a distraction that is interesting enough to knock them off their game. The jury is still out on whether or not this is a tactic for long term peace or if it works for now until Sophie catches on. But, hey, whatever works, even if it’s short lived, right?

photo credit: leann_b

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Tags: Your Two-Year-Old: Terrible or Tender