In response to “Since putting a napkin in a 2 year old’s lap is not an option…” our daughter has recently asked for her own napkin when we are at the dinner table, which she places on her lap and otherwise ignores or uses appropriately. Many would say that a 2 year old cannot be given a drinking glass, but we Montessorians know better. (In fact, my daughter is almost always responsible with her drinking glass, but almost always will turn a lidded cup upside down and attempt to creatively extract the liquid onto herself, her carseat, the floor, etc. Go figure.)

Again, I am so happy to have found your blog!

As for the Ferber method, what worked really well for us was just placing her back on her bed each time she started crying/migrating to the door. Yes, we had a few banging incidents, but with the constant re-positioning and saying, “night night” (or whatever you want to say to him to reinforce that this is the time to sleep) it worked. She eventually just cried in place. Then she cried herself to sleep. Then she stopped crying all together.

I realize that it’s hard the first night when all you can do is hear that crying and the head banging and think, what is this all for?!? But, the key here is consistency. I think that is the actual lesson underlying Ferber that really is the gem. We went back in to her room at the time intervals we felt were appropriate for us (1 min, 3, mins, 5 mins…) and just did the same thing over and over until she got the message that we weren’t going to alter our behavior because of her protests.

I know that crib is crying out for you – think of how much easier it might be! But, if you stick with the floor bed thing and get passed this, then you might find it a whole lot better in the long run. We have. I can’t tell you how great it is now to know that our daughter can entertain herself when she wakes instead of yelling for us to come get her right away. It still happens, mind you. She will call for us, but I do hear her stirring first, sometimes playing with her puzzles, sometimes singing…

Thanks for your advice,

Elle

Sorry for the delay! I hear you, sister, sleep deprivation is the pits. There is a reason why it is an effective method of torture.

I understand completely about you putting your baby in the bed with you and I, too, have done it. Unfortunately, each and every time I do it, without fail, we all sleep WAY worse. Some people have lots of luck with this, though. My sister and her husband have slept with their son in their bed from the get go and they all sleep great. If you’re saying that it doesn’t work for you, then best to find what does.

We started with our daughter in a co-sleeper for the first 6 months of her life. Right about 7 or 8 months, I don’t remember exactly now, when she started pulling up on the side of the sleeper, we moved her to the floor bed. The only transition we did was put her in a pack and play in her own room first, before just laying her down on the floor bed. This we did for nearly a month I think – certainly not longer. Could have been just a few weeks. The point to that excersize was to get her used to sleeping on her own since up till then she had been able to listen to us breathing through the night. She took to this like a champ, though there were still late night wakings for the 4 am feeding. Then, we put her on the floor bed. She did not fall asleep well the first few nights, I will tell you.

Enter, Dr. Ferber. His method is really good, as long as you can tolerate listening to the crying – not easy. The way I rationalized allowing my baby to cry was this – as she grows, she will need to learn how to take care of her own needs. My role as a mom is to put her on the path to learning how to take care of herself- not to teach her how to rely on me. Afterall, my goal is to raise and independent, responsible child. While it is hard – so hard – I figured that this way my first big time experience with this lesson, so I decided to jump in. We read Ferber’s and figured out a cry-it-out schedule that worked for us. We started out with 1 minute, then 3 minutes, then 5, then 7 then 10 and finally 15 minutes. Basically we put her down drowsy and walked out of the room. She of course cried. Hard. It was gut-wrenching that first night even waiting a minute. But we did and we stuck to that schedule. That night she might have cried 15-20 minutes total, with us visiting her room at the alloted time. I almost couldn’t do it, but we did. On the second night, same thing happened, only she cried for no longer than 10 minutes max with us going in her room to soothe her at the allotted times. Then, miraculously, on the third night – I kid you not – she cried for only 2 minutes then slept like an angel. So, for us it worked like a charm, if you can mentally lump in agonizing over her screams charming. But, I highly highly recommend this as it has taught our daughter how to fall asleep on her own and she’s been sleeping through the night for some time now. No screaming, no crying, only the occasional talking and murmuring with the exception of nightmares and such.

I think the floor bed really has helped her feel “in control” of her sleep. She can and does get up to play, but she will put herself back to sleep again after. I feel like the Montessori approach, at least in our household, has instilled in Sophie the notion that she does have control over some aspects of her life, which, it seems, appeals to her.

I hope this helps. Basically, sleep issues arise in every family and with a little luck and perseverance, you can find what works for you.

He is 10 months old now and still does not sleep through the night. It seems as though my child is the only one. I tried putting him in bed with us, but he still wakes up just as much. He wants to nurse to sleep any time he awakes. I tried putting him in his crib, and he freaks out. I have let him cry the last 2 nights using Dr. Ferber’s method. He did sleep better last night, but I just hate to hear him cry, I feel like I am ruining him.

I was wondering when you put your daughter in a floor bed? How did you guys transition into that? I worked at a Montessori for 3 years and my daughter attended school there. I love Montessori. I am just learning of the baby montessori though.

Please offer any advice you have! I am desperate, and sleep deprived.

Thanks so much!
Brandi