Montessori floor bed in action

I can completely understand where you are coming from. Right now I’m struggling with the same thing for my second baby. Our new baby’s room (while not small) has a baseboard heater that I cannot baby-proof. Because of that, I can’t in good conscience put her in the room on the floor. Safety first.

Here’s my thinking about your baby gate question…the floor bed is a way to help teach decision making skills and instill independence. Using a baby gate either close to the mattress or a considered distance away from the mattress on the floor pretty much negates both of those reasons to do a floor bed. As for safety, a baby gate that fits close to the mattress may actually trap the baby between the mattress and the gate, being EXTREMELY dangerous. And babies are notoriously wiggly, aren’t they? – especially when they are just learning to use their body. I, personally, wouldn’t trust that type of set up. Suffocation can happen so so quickly – best to be safe. And it’s challenging to get a baby gate to be stable if it is configured in a circle around a bed. Now, you can try to affix it in a corner, but really, you’re just making a big crib, one that is completely against all safety regulations. So, as much as I want to encourage you to find a way to use a floor bed because I’ve loved being able to use one in our home, for your situation I’d recommend a crib. You’re in good company, though…sadly we’ll have to use a crib as well. There is just no way around the hazards of the baby’s room in our house. Good luck and let me know what you decide!

I hope I can be of some help. We did start using a floor bed when my first daughter was still an infant, so that’s been my experience. However, after just sleep training my second daughter, I think you might be able to use sleep training techniques to transition your toddler to a floor bed now. This may sound wacky, but hear me out.

Because your daughter has certain sleep associations with falling asleep in your bed, you’ll probably have the most success by tackling this in terms of sleep associations, and that is what sleep training is all about. My suggestion (and I’m getting this from my experience using a modified Ferber approach to sleep training my two girls) is to get a floor bed and continue your sleep routine as you would in your bed. For example, if you lay down with her to get her to sleep, then lay down with her in her new floor bed. Be sure to get your smell on the sheets, too, as she’s definitely used to that! Then, over a number of days, scale back your routine and start changing it to what you want it to be. Like lay down for less time and read a book first. That way, the transition from Mommy’s bed to her bed is gentler on her. Timing is the key as you implement changes. You’ll hear her protest and get up. Go back in to her room and comfort her, put her back in bed, but don’t re-do the bedtime routine, simply let her know you’re there and put her in bed (so she understands that’s where she sleeps) and then leave. Time both the duration of time she’s protesting and the time you’re in her room. Gradually increase the time in between comforting her and stay in her room for under 2 minutes.

You may be in for a few rough nights as she explores her freedom. I bet there will be lots of getting out of bed. When you child proof the room, not only make it safe for little exploring hands, but also set up an area for her to “play” with extremely boring toys. And not too many of them. And then know that she will get up out of bed and go looking for you. She may bang on the door or otherwise call out for your attention. Best to think of the room as one big crib – her wanting to get your attention is all about wanting to maintain the sleep associations she has with co-sleeping.

Ferber, in his book Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems, has a section on sleep training while co-sleeping. It might give you some insight on how to handle the transition.

I do hope this works! She will eventually have to get out of your bed, lest you want a teenager still in bed with you so good luck. Also, do know that the older these little guys get, the more stamina they have.

Good luck! Let me know how it goes – even if you need some more encouragement along the way because it’s hard.

I hear you. Reaching over a crib is a big pain in the back, especially if you’re little one has those cute big roly poly legs! I love those folds, aren’t they just delicious? But more seriously, here is what I’d suggest for your floor bed needs. The Lord Company has specially made floor bed mattresses and frames. It sounds like you’d like to go this route as it’s clearly safety tested (much more so than my futon on the floor method). They even have fitted sheets! And, to be honest, I think you’ll want some sort of sheet. Because the frame and the mattress are designed to go together, you won’t have any space for your baby’s head to get trapped – there is less than 2 inches between the mattress and the frame (and I think that’s what the regulation stipulates, tho I could be wrong on that). Anyway, I’d look at their offerings while you are making your decisions. And just so you know – they don’t sponsor me to say anything, this is just a good company that makes these bed frames.

But let me back up and address you question about co-sleeping past 3 months. I’ve co-slept with both kids for around 6 months – I can’t be sure on the exact date because I was so sleep deprived by that point the days just run together in my mind. I must have bought a very long co-sleeper (called a baby bunk and it has been great!) because I eventually moved each girl out because they both were LOUD sleepers. And, I think they could smell me so close to them because they woke up A LOT (especially my second) and wanted to cuddle and nurse. Loved it, but also hated the interrupted sleep. So, if you want to and can keep the little angel in with you for as long as you can, I say go for it.

Now, back to cribs…I’d recommend looking at Lord Company. Or, if you want to try the crib thing out and don’t want to make the $$ commitment, try a pack and play. But I’d definitely try the floor bed given your back. Mind you, you’ll be stooping regardless, but with a floor bed I could crouch and place the baby in bed while supporting my weight with my knees instead of having to bend and have all that weight pressuring my back. Any other specific floor bed questions? Let me know.

And as for books, I’ve liked the Montessori books I’ve read I’ve gotten a lot out of How To Raise An Amazing Child by Tim Seldin (but there isn’t a big section on floor beds) and Montessori From the Start by Paula Polk Lillard and Lynn Lillard Jessen. Those are mostly Montessori philosophy, so it may be more than you really want.

Now, what did I forget to tell you? Oh, yeah, the size of the room. At 3 months, your girl won’t be doing much more than wigging around the room, so you might find her in a different position than when you started, but you may not. Unless she has incredible strength and coordination and is learning tap dancing by then I “hampered” my squirmy girl with a sleep sack and that seemed to work for both of us. I knew she was safe and cozy and she could wiggle like a worm but not get very far. Of course that changed when she was learning how to walk and began tripping herself on the sleep sack, but that took a while. Then we just moved to footed PJs and went with it. We gave our daughter something to “do” when she got up from bed by placing toys in a “play” corner of the room (as opposed to a “sleep” corner) but the toys were BORING. It just occupied her enough when she got it in her mind to wander. And yes, she eventually wandered. But the great part about that was that when I heard her wake up on the monitor, she was entertaining herself so I didn’t have to run in her room. But again, they were safe, boring toys. Baby proof the room, definitely, but you don’t have to make it completely empty save a bed.

Hopefully that helps! If you’d like more info, just holler.

I love the experience you and your family are having with the floor bed. Sounds like your daughter know just what she’s doing. I especially like the plexi mirror and wish we would have done the same. We had mirrored closet doors that did the same, but I did fret seeing as they were glass.

About the idea of fostering a youngster’s concentration (and NOT with a “plug in drug” as you say) is indeed undervalued in our society as of late. Although, maybe it’s not undervalued as much as over looked. I bet most any parent would like it if their kid showed signs of being able to focus for long periods of time on an activity (again, not the TV) but I bet most people consider concentration a personality trait and not a learned behavior. Not to be too judgmental – but I do honestly believe TV and too many toys hamper a child’s ability to really learn how to concentrate.

Sounds like you are a very supportive mom! Way to go.

And, funny about the dust…