Setting Boundaries At Home
Do you adhere to the same boundaries that you set for your little one? I’m sure you don’t throw food, don’t hit your sister, and rarely talk back to your mother. Right? But I’m referring to things like talking with your mouth full, standing while eating, and interrupting people when they are talking.
My family is trying to tackle manners now, or rather, starting down the long road of proper etiquette. We’re starting small – simple things. Once those are mastered, then we’ll move on. Baby steps, or that’s what I keep telling myself. It’s time. Age two is about time to start learning how to remain seated while eating. Don’t you think?
This past weekend as I was cleaning the dishes after dinner, I took one last bite of mac and cheese out of the pot on the stove before I put the rest of the left overs away and cleaned the pot. Okay, two bites. I turned around and saw these two little eyes on me, watching me very carefully as I lifted the wooden spoon from the pot, put it in my mouth then BACK IN THE POT. I sorta sheepishly smiled, took that last bite, then kept cleaning up.
Then it hit me…I’d just finished telling my daughter that at dinner, we sit down while we eat and we eat off of a plate. That’s polite and that’s what we do.
Only my actions were telling her “not all the time.” And I realized – I’ve seen my mother do this same thing all the time. Face it mom, you do. You eat out of the pot after you’ve eaten dinner! It’s actually kinda cute because you eat like a bird and it makes me happy to see you shoving a wooden spoon in your face. But as I teach my daughters table manners (hell, any manners) I think I should model the behavior I want to see.
I mean, if we want to change our kids, we have to change ourselves, right? At least that is what I’ve heard.
Back to setting boundaries. As I think about boundary-setting I figure they have to jibe with what I’m willing to do (and what I can remember to do, too!) Here are the things that will have to change. I wish I didn’t do these things but I do :
1. Sit down while you eat (before and after dinner – including snacks. Just think, no more cheese and crackers scarfed down while preparing dinner either)
2. Eat off of a plate (this, I’m afraid, will be hard for me…see above reference to cheese and crackers)
3. Chew first, then speak
4. Take a breath in between bites (otherwise known as don’t shovel food in my mouth)
5. Listen, then speak (nooooo more interruptions)
I sound like a heathen! I’m not really. It’s just that when things get crazy around the house, I get rushed and my manners fly out the window. When I’m rushed, I get anxious. As a role model to two rapidly growing girls, I realize that I have to shape up.
So, here we go – boundary setting for Mom and Dad. Maybe our actions will speak louder than words. God, wouldn’t that be nice.
photo credit: makelessnoise
