Should You Discipline Someone Else’s Child At the Playground?

Posted on 11. Nov, 2009 by Kate in Parenting

playground

When it comes to playground etiquette, what are the rules for disciplining another kid who hits, pushes or otherwise bullies your child? I don’t know but I feel like I need to know.

Basically, I look at it like this – if it’s a minor problem that doesn’t put my kid in danger, then I wait to see what happens. It’s a good learning experience for my child to speak up for herself or at least to learn that there are times when bad things happen to good people, so to speak.

Of course, I also wait to see what the other parent or caregiver will do. That’s a learning experience for me. Plus, even something like hitting and pushing is normal behavior for smaller kids, so I try to be non-judgmental about it. The offending child may not even know why he hit, he just hit.

Now, to be sure, if I feel like the situation is dangerous, will continue uncorrected or is otherwise typical M.O. for the child, then I’ll say something. Instead of saying, “no hit,” I’ll more than likely say, “we don’t hit other children,” or “please don’t throw sand,” or an equally firm but forgiving statement. I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do, but for now it seems to work when we’ve encountered a problem.

It’s a sticky wicket, as they say, navigating what to or not to say to another person’s child. How do other people handle it?

photo credit: D Sharon Pruitt

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3 Responses to “Should You Discipline Someone Else’s Child At the Playground?”

  1. Dawn Perry

    19. May, 2010

    Interesting question. I guess it depends on if you know the other kids or if they are total strangers. If I know the other kids, I will verbally address them the same as I would my own. If strangers, I would look for their parents and ask them to address the problem. One time we were at an outside park and a girl about 7 or 8 would literally kick my daughter (who was 9 at the time). Mine did not want to fight back and the girl’s parents were of course no where to be found. I told the girl to quit kicking sarah, but she ignored me (not unexpected). So I asked the girl her name and she replied “becky”. I asked becky why she keeps kicking her and she said “it’s fun”. I asked her age and she said she was seven. Typical for a seven year old, I guess to her it was “fun” kicking sarah. Not expecting any results I asked her to take her shoes off. She pulled them off and handed them to me. As we were outside, I also asked her to take her socks off as well, which she also gave me. I stuffed them in her shoes, sat back down on the bench and set them on the bench beside me. As I watched sarah and becky play, I noticed she quit kicking sarah as she had done before (probably because it would not be as easy barefoot and could hurt her feet kicking her) and the two played well for the next hour. Amazing, becky’s mom finally shows up. Asks her daughter where her shoes are and the girl says “that lady (pointing at me) has them, she told me to take them off”. The mom comes on over and I explained I asked her to take them off because she kept kicking my 9yo. The mom said she was sorry, but becky often does that to get attention, she also said it was a good idea to take her shoes off, she will remember that next time they come to the park. She picked up becky’s shoes and the two of them went home. The next time we came to the park, becky was playing with a couple of other girls, but not kicking them as she did with sarah. We soon saw why, her mom had brought her to the park barefoot. It appears that was the solution to becky’s kicking problem. The two have since become friends for the past two years and are now ten and twelve.

  2. admin

    24. May, 2010

    WOW – I’m impressed! I love that you asked her to take her shoes off…not sure I would have thought to do that. It seems like you were level headed yet firm – a great approach.

  3. me

    13. Jul, 2010

    You go girl! Love your inventive solution. I hope, if I’m ever in this type of situation, I’d be able to find such a workable solution.

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