We’d play until someone noticed that it was too dim to see much and the lights were blinking on all over the neighborhood. At that point it was a mad scramble to get in your house before your mom noticed it was dark.

Red Rover was a favorite back then and it provides just as much fun, exercise, and entertainment now! It is a great way to use up the last bit of energy before bed.

You’ll need at least six people, but it’s better if you have more.

How to Play

1. Choose two captains – one for each team.
2. Divide everyone up into two equal teams.
3. Each team forms a line, holds hands, and faces the other team – keep the lines about 20 to 30 feet apart.
4. The captain of the first team calls one player from the other team by saying, “Red Rover, Red Rover, send (player’s name) on over!”
5. The person called has to leave his team and run to the other team, attempting to break the other teams’ chain.
6. If the player doesn’t break the chain he has to become part of the other team.
7. If he does break the chain he can “capture” one of the players whose link was broken and take them back to his team where they become part of that team.
8. Teams take turns calling players from the opposing team until all of the players are on one side.

As with all games that involve physical interaction, you should be careful. Try to have the players all in the same age group and similar weights and sizes. If a large person breaks through the chain with too much force, obviously someone could get hurt. Remember, these games are supposed to be fun!

photo credit: Lauren Lank

With that said, I’m going to focus this on what we as women should be doing, and that is thanking our husbands or significant other. Daily.

As women, I think we often have the mindset that we can do it all. I know I do. In fact, I’m the first to admit that I play the role of martyr on a regular basis.

Yes, it’s ugly. But fessing up is the first step in recovery, right?

In our house, most things are pretty equal, but I still feel the need to do it all. And when my husband does something totally normal, like loading the dishwasher, I trip all over myself thanking him.

The result? He thinks I’m being condescending instead of appreciative. In his words, and I quote, “Why in the hell is this such a big deal, Stacie? I just loaded the dishwasher. I didn’t figure out world peace.”

And he’s right. But because I don’t show him appreciation on a regular basis (tsk, tsk), when I do, it comes across as obnoxious.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Just like us, men like to be appreciated. I mean, think about how nice it feels when someone notices somethings we’ve done – especially normal everyday stuff.

And no, I’m not saying you need to thank him for changing a toilet paper roll, but when he mows the lawn, tell him it looks nice.

If he cooks dinner, tell him it tastes good.

And for Pete’s sake, tell him he’s a good dad, that he reads awesome bedtime stories, and that you admire his patience to build the same Lego structure 400 times in a row, only to have the baby knock it down and say, “Again, Daddy! Again!”

For some of you (one of my best friends included) you may chafe at the idea of this. “Why should I do that? He doesn’t tell me that the dinner I cook tastes good or that I’m a super-fab diaper changer.” <insert pouty face here> But the truth is, someone has to start the cycle, ya know? If you start mentioning the things you appreciate about him, he’ll be more aware of appreciating you, too. And expressing it.

Do you know what two spouses who openly appreciate each other equals? A much stronger relationship. And we all know that stronger relationships equal stronger families.

Who can’t get on board with that?

photo credit: SjoerdvW

I saw this back to school post and thought I’d pass it along. While I’m not the type of mom who thinks of sending little notes in lunchboxes, I love the idea of being able to do it so quickly and easily. These little lunchbox lovies are simply adorable and seem rather quick. And, if they encourage healthy eating, I’m all for it!

And by the way, the blog that I saw them on, alphamom.com, is a great blog to keep an eye on.

Cut to our daughter now at almost 2 years old and what is her most dominant feature?  Her pacifier.  We call it a chewpete (from the spanish word for sucker that I’m certain I’m not spelling correctly).  First off there is absolutely no sleeping without 2 of them – one for her mouth and one for her hand.  She doesn’t keep it in all night long but she needs it right there next to her.  Unfortunately is acts as her lovey as well.

Second is every other time of the day.  It all started innocently enough.  Sophie was allowed her chewpete at night and when she hurt herself.  Then we moved and all of the upheaval surrounding packing and moving affected her so we gave it to her when she was distressed throughout those days.  Then she got really sick and it was one of the only things that calmed her down and, while she was vomitting and so unhappy I didn’t have the heart to take it away.  But now she’s all better and throws a fit when she doesn’t have it unless she is really distracted, like on the playground.

I’m just so unsure of what to do now – do I go through the hassle of weaning her or simply deal with it until she’s ready to part with it?  And, mind you, she does have the personality that leads me to believe that she will one day wake up and be done with it…she’s shown similar fortitude in the past.  Unfortunately I think her father, her grandmother and I have become as addicted to it as she is as the chewpete calms and quiets her.  Not a bad thing when you’re out grocery shopping and the waterworks start to flow.

I never considered I’d be a mom who allowed a pacifier and yet here I am.  Just one more instance in a string of things that I didn’t know that I didn’t know.  Now I know and I’m at a loss as to what to do about it…

I was reading an article in the New Yorker about breastfeeding and was stunned at the idea that we, as mothers, may becoming our own wet nurses because of the preference of pumping over breastfeeding.  As a mother who had difficulty with breast feeding because my milk had trouble traveling down my milk ducts to get to my baby, I relied on whatever means possible to give my baby the best that I could.  While formula ultimately became my only option, I find it disheartening to hear about the continued controversy over formula versus breastfeeding.  And now with pumping added to the mix… oiy!

Clearly the nutrients in breast milk are vastly superior to anything that can be manufactured, however, this argument seems to had led to unfortunate consequences.  Here in California, lactation consultants reinforce the practice of breastfeeding to the point of being pushers.  While I applaud the effort, I feel like their emphasis is misplaced.  Instead of reinforcing the notion that breastfeeding is as much about human connection as giving nutrients, the focus on breast milk has not made things better for the baby or the mother.

What a great pity that mothers are being encouraged to do themselves out of what must surely be the most important job in the world, raising the next generation.   Children are being given over to the often very capable hands of day care workers and nannies with bottles of expressed milk.  Capable but can we really say they have the same amount of time and attention needed to fully attune to the new baby.  Breast feeding is about more than giving nutrients to the infant, it is about attunement and bonding.  The first year of a baby’s life is so crucial and so much is now known about the impact of attunement and attachment on infants and the impact of neuronal development.  It’s strange that in a society that is gung ho about the academic development of children so little attention is paid to the all important emotional development which creates stability later on in life.  Surely bonding with mom, more than flash cards and tutors at the age of three, is setting them up for the ability to attend and learn later on.

Not to mention the headache attached to pumping.  Breasts fill and must be drained on a schedule.  The horror stories I’ve heard about women heading off to an icky restroom to pump for 15 minutes is shocking.  I mean would you feed your baby a sandwich in a restroom?   And as for the office restroom, it is dare I say humiliating to be hooked up to a pump like Bessie the cow and have your co-workers come in!  Some offices do have lactation rooms, which is a start, but again that skirts the issue.

I am absolutely not against a mom choosing to return to work after having a baby nor am I opposed to pumping.  What I am opposed to is the lack of discussion around all of the consequences of the myriad choices we mothers have.  Long term consequences.  I feel that, as a society, we should be discussing the effect of day care and nannys as well as breast milk when we discuss what is best for baby.  If we conduct experiments and studies on breast milk, shouldn’t we pay the same attention to the choice to contract out raising our children?

photo credit: Raphael Goetter

I photographed a beautiful woman the other day and, during the shoot I kept thinking that I should share a little about how to photograph a pregnant woman so that the soon to be mom looks great and not as huge as she may feel.

Without giving away the store, I decided to give a few tips for those moms and dads who want to take pictures of the pregnancy as it progresses. That way, many many pictures can chronicle the process.  Of course, there are many professionals out there (myself included) who can document the momentous occasion, but you might want to give it a try yourself, just to see what you can come up with.  If that is the case, then think of these ideas when you pick up your camera and start to shoot.

First, PROFILE. Shooting from the side rather than straight on will show more of the belly’s curves. Sometimes if you take a picture straight on of a pregnant woman, they can look large rather than pregnant – any trust me, no one wants that.

MYSTERY.  Yes, everyone will know it’s a pregnant belly, and sometimes they may even know it’s you in the photos, but nothing is sexier than a little mystery, even in maternity photographs.  There are many ways to do that, and here is my favorite photograph of a pregnant woman that incorporates a little seductive mystery.  We used what  we had around us and thought beyond the typical boobs and belly image.  In not showing everything, you may discover you reveal much more.

That should get you started!  Happy shooting.