Tag: Health

While twenty-somethings may be choosing to enlarge their bust lines, women in the middle decades of their lives tend to covet the all-encompassing mommy makeover.

Eventually you will have had your final child and pregnancy will be a condition you won’t be experiencing again without the appearance of an angel, a star, and three wise men. At that point, if you are like most moms, looking in the mirror can incite the same feeling of nausea that the dissection lab in high school biology did.

Years of nursing has relocated your breasts to an area where you vaguely remember your waist being.  Your once tightly toned tummy may spill over your jeans while your thighs are dented with hail damage, orange peel skin, cellulite, or whatever you want to call it.

You are in desperate need of a mommy makeover, at least according to the media. This is a procedure, in which a plastic surgeon deftly returns your breasts to their proper upright position, tucks your trembley tummy into itself to reveal your abdominal muscles again and recreates smooth, lithe thighs in one fell swoop. It’s almost like having a fairy godmother.

There is discomfort of course – after all, you have had surgery. During your recovery time, you will probably feel a bit like a Mack truck ran over you – not as bad as six hours of back labor but worse than those sharp new baby teeth testing out your nipple while nursing. You’ll have some bruising and swelling for a time but it will clear up in a week or so.

So would you get one?

On the one hand, women are constantly bombarded with the need to look perfect, to maintain the same figure they had at 21, and to be able to easily compete with the latest Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. It isn’t realistic.

In a day when the average woman wears a size 12 to 14, that perfect size 4 body with those firm D-cup breasts attached is just not realistic for most of us. At least, it isn’t realistic without thousands of dollars worth of “work.”

On the other hand, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want to look the best that they can. While we may say that we have no desire to look like a Victoria’s Secret model, the truth is that few of us would turn that down if the aforementioned fairy godmother offered the proper magic dust.

As much as women want to evolve past being judged for their looks, there is a small corner in many of our hearts that seeks to achieve the very thing we disdain – the power that comes with beauty and has been wielded by beautiful women for centuries – women from Cleopatra to Beyoncé. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, exercise just doesn’t give you the results you want.

The question remains. Would you get a mommy makeover? Is it something that you feel would enrich your life? Or, do you feel that it is just another way for society to force women into a china doll mold based on what Hollywood says is beautiful?

photo credit: Deven Laney

Between running errands, cooking meals, cheering at soccer games and being competitive in the workplace it is almost impossible for moms to relax and recharge – and no wonder.

The media lets us know constantly that we are not thin enough, pretty enough, stylish enough, and [fill in the blank] enough to be considered acceptable. Often, to combat that constant feeling of being torn down we turn to mindless activities – television, snacking, or losing ourselves on the Internet.

The thing is? None of these activities are good for us in excess and none of them energize us spiritually, emotionally, mentally, or physically. They may make us feel better in the moment but they usually bring only fleeting relief. Sometimes they may even make our stresses worse in the long run – like when the credit card bill comes in.

Here are five alternatives to veg’ing out when you need to recharge those depleted mom-batteries.

Breathe and Center

It may sound strange but one of the best ways to recharge your entire being is to stretch out on the floor, close your eyes, and breathe rhythmically. Clear your mind but don’t stress over it. Imagine a beautiful beach, a babbling brook, or a windswept mountaintop and mentally put yourself there.

Some people find that soft, soothing instrumental music helps them to relax while others prefer white noise, or nothing at all. Allow your muscles to rest, reaffirm to yourself that you are the best you can be right now and tomorrow you will be even better. Remind yourself that you are taken care of, in no danger, and all is well. You may want to think of special words of encouragement that you have memorized from a poem, song, quote, or your religion.

Spend about 15 minutes in quiet meditation and then slowly open your eyes and sit up. Life looks much better, doesn’t it?

Coffee with a Friend

There are just some friends that seem to be able to say the right thing no matter how we feel. Spending time with them is like taking a mini-vacation. Schedule at least one block of time every month when you can spend time with your friend alone – no children, spouses, or interruptions. If your friend is far away use the magic of the Internet and video chat to spend that quality time together.

Join a Yoga Class

Yoga is especially good for energizing and relaxing your entire being. Check with the local gym, YMCA, or search Google for classes in your area.

Not only does it help you to relax, but the disciplined movements will help to keep your body limber.  That, in turn, will help you to feel better with less aches and pains. Pain, even mild pain, can wear on your nerves without you realizing it and cause you to feel sluggish without knowing why.

Take a Course

Researchers have found that people who exercise their minds by learning new things regularly do not age as quickly as those who are not curious about the world around them.

Take a photography class, a creative writing class, or finish up your degree. Learn to make wine or how to use French culinary techniques. It doesn’t really matter what you learn as long as you keep feeding your mind with interesting knowledge.

Get Physical

No, not exercise – although that is one way to recharge.  Moms seem to constantly nurture their families with physical touch and special care.  Back rubs, kisses, or serving a late night cup of coffee to someone who has a project due – these are all ways that mom says, “I love you.”

Often, the nurturing isn’t reciprocated. By scheduling a massage, facial, mani-pedi, or haircut and style, mom gets gentle, physical touch with no strings attached and no reciprocation needed. It is a comforting way to pamper yourself and be the center of the universe for a little while.

When you return to the real world, you’ll likely feel more in control, more relaxed, and more able to juggle all those hats you wear every day.

There are certainly other ways to relax and recharge – everyone is different. Choose something that you love to do, that energizes you, feeds your innermost self, and indulge yourself regularly. You (and your mental health) are worth it.

photo credit: Chumlee10

Back in the days before video games, DVRs, and the Internet, long summer nights were filled with outside activities. Since most of us got to stay outside until “the streetlights come on” we hurriedly gulped down dinner and rushed back out to play with our friends.

We’d play until someone noticed that it was too dim to see much and the lights were blinking on all over the neighborhood. At that point it was a mad scramble to get in your house before your mom noticed it was dark.

Red Rover was a favorite back then and it provides just as much fun, exercise, and entertainment now! It is a great way to use up the last bit of energy before bed.

You’ll need at least six people, but it’s better if you have more.

How to Play

1. Choose two captains – one for each team.
2. Divide everyone up into two equal teams.
3. Each team forms a line, holds hands, and faces the other team – keep the lines about 20 to 30 feet apart.
4. The captain of the first team calls one player from the other team by saying, “Red Rover, Red Rover, send (player’s name) on over!”
5. The person called has to leave his team and run to the other team, attempting to break the other teams’ chain.
6. If the player doesn’t break the chain he has to become part of the other team.
7. If he does break the chain he can “capture” one of the players whose link was broken and take them back to his team where they become part of that team.
8. Teams take turns calling players from the opposing team until all of the players are on one side.

As with all games that involve physical interaction, you should be careful. Try to have the players all in the same age group and similar weights and sizes. If a large person breaks through the chain with too much force, obviously someone could get hurt. Remember, these games are supposed to be fun!

photo credit: Lauren Lank

It’s a thing most moms do: telling their birth story. Like an initiation ritual, or a right of passage. I was sharing mine with my daughter’s preschool teacher, going on about giving birth in a teaching hospital and the veritable audience in attendance when she told me she was in the hospital for 4 months. On bed rest. In the hospital. 4 months.

She carried her twins to full term – healthy boys – but from the outset it didn’t look like that would be a likely outcome. Hers is not my story to tell, so I can’t go into all of her details. But it got me to thinking about how our different baby experiences unite us on a continuum of shared smiles and tears, hormones and fears. Read more…

The modern woman encompasses a lot of things; the modern mother encompasses even more. It means that we are often juggling professional as well as personal pursuits. It means we are writing articles during nap time or taking conference calls during preschool hours. Sometimes, we do it because we want to, sometimes we do it because we have to – sometime it’s both.

The modern woman likes to have it all. A stable, well afforded life; a beautiful family that includes a marriage that is healthy; kids playing in the soccer field and a career that is flourishing. It means the laundry is put away and the dishes are always getting done. Or at least, that’s the vision. But all too often, there are things suffering. Things like our mental health as well as our physical health. We aren’t balancing it all as well as we should. Read more…

Here’s the thing about baby soaps and shampoos: they all smell the same.

I grew up in the decade of Johnson & Johnson baby bath and No More Tears Detangler…….if I try really hard, I can still smell that stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I love the stuff, but after a while a girl just wants something a little different.

Luckily, I was introduced to California Baby products shortly before our youngest daughter was born. Its calming scent was enough to soothe a cranky, pregnant momma and worked like a charm on a cranky, colicky newborn baby too!

A mom-created product, California Baby was born when newly-pregnant Jessica Iclisoy decided she wanted to raise her baby in the most natural and non-toxic environment possible. Her key ingredient, Decyl Polyglucose, is a gentle, biodegradable cleansing and bubbling agent derived from renewable and biodegradable plant sources. Add to that a variety of essential oils and you’ve got a fabulous product. Read more…

Worried about postpartum depression? Don’t want to take drugs? Try your placenta. Apparently there are postpartum doulas who can process your placenta into placenta pills (shown above). Thank God, because when I read about this at first I had visions of a fillet of placenta, sautéed up with onions and peppers. Eeeeww.

The practice of eating one’s placenta is called placentophagy. Because of its high content of progesterone and numerous vitamins and minerals, the placenta is thought to be quite effective in warding off postpartum depression, helps the uterus shrink back to normal size and stimulates milk production. In fact most mammals eat their placenta, including primates but not many humans. Maybe it’s time to start?

But still…placenta recipes? Oh they are out there. But, to me the pill sounds like such a better way to go. One question…what about the inevitable burp after – you know, like with fish oil pills or some vitamins? Yuck!

photo credit: danoxster

Just back from the monthly visit to the OBGYN to check on the status of the new little one (no, I don’t have an in utero name). We both got a clean bill of health and are both growing right on schedule – whew! With all the morning sickness (so not the right thing to call it!), I was a bit nervous that neither of us were healthy. Luckily, the body knows what it’s doing, even if I don’t have a clue…Mother Nature is brilliant that way.

Anyway, I’m now at the 21 week mark and am so excited/terrified that this is half over. As my due date approaches I’m left wondering how the hell will this all work – the whole 2 kids thing, I mean. Yes, yes in theory I know it does and I’ve seen other people do it. Yet I’m not so certain how we will handle it.

Motherhood is such hard work!

photo credit molly_darling

The U.S. Government’s Health and Human Services department has just released information on the Swine Flu (H1N1) vaccine as well as the influenza vaccine on www.flu.gov. If you have the time, watch their video on the site – it’s extremely informative. Here’s my take on what I learned today.

First, the conversation on the video lumped influenza in with the new strain of flu called Swine Flu (also known as H1N1). I found this confusing. As a pregnant woman, I want to know about the specific H1N1 vaccine – what is the safety of this new vaccine, have there been clinical trials, is it available, what are the risks, what are the side effects?

What I learned was a bit shocking. They’ve tested the other risk groups, but the clinical trials for pregnant woman will start in September when they will test for correct dosage and side effects of the new vaccine. If they don’t know now what these two variables are, how can they safely recommend injecting a vaccine into a body with a developing fetus?

The Department of Health and Human Services, as well as the Center for Disease Control back up their argument for recommending the vaccine by citing the safety and long time use of the influenza vaccine. It has a very good track record for safety and they know exactly how much vaccine to administer. Hence, they “know” the same about the Swine Flu vaccine. I don’t really buy that argument. I’d rather wait to see what the evidence suggests because the H1N1/Swine Flu vaccine is brand new.

Second, it’s not available yet. October is the target release date. Well, OK, that gives me time to research more, so that’s good to know. However, they don’t know if they recommend one double dose or one dose + a booster three weeks later. This seems like very important information to me and it makes me nervous that it is still a question. I’d like to know how much of the substance they plan on putting in my body and, more importantly, that they know which is the best course of action. Again, they’ll know this in October.

Third, what is the official stance on preventative care? It’s so simple and yet I do know it’s effective: wash your hands. Wash your baby’s hands. A lot. OK, check. What else? Not much. For pregnant woman they suggest lots of rest, a healthy diet and in general taking care of yourself. Have these people ever had babies? Rest? Aside from being exhausted from running after a toddler, pregnancy causes insomnia in me so when I should and could and would like to be sleeping, I’m not sleeping. I’m rolling over, tucking pillows in all sorts of places and sighing wistfully, wishing I was asleep.

In case you contract the Swine Flu or even the regular flu, there are steps to take to minimize exposure to others like staying home, wearing a mask when you go out and wash wash wash your hands. The video goes over in much more detail what to do in this scenario and that information is quite helpful.

However there is little information on the virus itself, like how long does it survive on surfaces and, if you suspect that you’ve come in to contact with an infected person, what should you do (besides washing your hands, of course)? I’m talking about do you change clothes, wash your clothes immediately, use anything other than detergent and hot water – what?

Lastly, there is a separate page detailing what pregnant women should know about H1N1 or the Swine Flu. I’d highly recommend reading it HERE.

I don’t want to give the wrong impression – I’m for vaccinations as an abstract thought. I believe our society has benefited greatly heath-wise from vaccinations. I got the flu vaccination during my first pregnancy and will more than likely get vaccinated for influenza again. I’m just not so sure about H1N1 and the regular flu vaccine doesn’t cover Swine Flu.

Of course, on the flip side of the vaccination debate there is the risk of actually contracting the Swine Flu. Sure, I can assume I won’t get sick, but how do I know? And, if I do get sick, how bad will that be for me, my developing baby, my toddler, my husband, my mother-in-law, my friends. I mean, come on! I don’t want to even think about that.

So, while more information is great, I feel very strongly that this decision is best discussed with my OBGYN in the coming months. She knows me, my baby and my toddler. She knows the science behind the vaccine. She can help me understand what will be best for my family. I can only urge that you, as a parent, learn as much as you can and then discuss both vaccines with your doctor and your child’s doctor. The www.flu.gov site is a good place to start.

I saw this back to school post and thought I’d pass it along. While I’m not the type of mom who thinks of sending little notes in lunchboxes, I love the idea of being able to do it so quickly and easily. These little lunchbox lovies are simply adorable and seem rather quick. And, if they encourage healthy eating, I’m all for it!

And by the way, the blog that I saw them on, alphamom.com, is a great blog to keep an eye on.

I’ve been struggling with nutrition as of late. Since becoming pregnant and having all sorts of aversions to food and, well, the entire kitchen, I’ve noticed that I’ve let my toddler’s food choices slip from nutritious to easy to make. Now I’m not saying that things that are easy to make are inherently not nutritious, but it seems like a disproportionate number of quick options are salty or sweet, but not necessarily full of nutrients.

And by nutrients, do I mean fat? Am I alone here in wondering what role fat should play in a child’s nutrition? I think not.

Here is a really interesting blog post that ties nutrition and fat intake (or rather, the lack thereof) to the increased “diagnosis” of ADD/ADHD. I use the quotes (I wish I could use air quotes) to emphasize the difference between the medical diagnosis of a real issue with the catch-all phrase ADD/ADHD to describe all sorts of behavior problems without truly understanding the underlying cause. I realize there is a vast and growing difference.

Back to my point. I’m usually pressed for time in the evenings – you know that witching hour that is dinner, bath, and bed-time. Couple that with a distinct desire to NOT open the fridge and I’ve started throwing together meals as quickly and painlessly as possible. Some days are better, like when I actually make something home-made that includes all the food groups (like easy enchiladas!). But some days are just plain bad.

And lunches – forget about it! Gone are the days of grilled cheese or peanut butter sandwiches. I usually throw some lunchmeat and Pirate booty and peas (if I have some) on her plate and watch her eat it up! My goal has changed from nutrition to feeding her something she will actually eat so we can get out the door to go to the playground. And once there, what do I give her? Crackers. Who have I become?

It’s not that I yearn for the time to fix her homemade granola bars, slow cooked oatmeal or other such treats. Even if I had the time I wouldn’t choose to spend it in the kitchen like that. No, what I need is healthy foods that are good (read: easy, quick AND nutritious) to eat.

Here’s what I’ve come up with as far as snacks go, but I’d love suggestions. The list is short.

Hard boiled eggs: easy and portable, too
Cheese sticks: these had been a staple, but have fallen out of favor. (Note to self: reintroduce)
Raisins (or other dried fruit): sweet and natural
Yogurt
Almonds: a new addition as they are a choking hazard…I break them in half

As I find more healthy toddler foods, I’ll post them.

OMG! When thinking about the whole idea of having a second child, my husband and I forgot a number of crucial data points, which, unfortunately, have now reared their ugly heads. First, exhaustion. I mean, our toddler (20 months, now) is so precocious – she’s in to everything.

It’s fun, at times, to catch her studying how a chip clip works for minutes upon minutes, and I realize the wonder that has yet to unfold before her. Then, when she decides to remove each and every item from the pantry while I’m loading the dishwasher, it’s not so fun.

Just when I think I’ve gotten the house straightened up, I turn around to find hurricane Sophie has blown through, leaving bits of paper, stuffed animals and books strewn about. Everywhere. Now, add to that the exhaustion that comes with breeding a baby and you see where things get tough.

I never guessed that toddler-hood would require so much of my waning energy when I thought about getting pregnant. I based my decision on the facts I had at the time – little, docile 14-15 month old teetering from couch to chair back to couch. That was fun to watch, and I could do it sitting down!

Then, let’s address the whole morning sickness cover-up. I mean, the first time I was pregnant I was sick straight through, morning till night. No relief. Of course, on looking back I *remembered* it as being not so bad. When I had to lay down, I did. When I had to take it slow, I did. When I had to run to the bathroom (or pick up the nearest bucket), I did.

Oh oh, not so lucky this time…hormones are a wonderful curse – they cause all sorts of memory loss that, let’s be frank, is the only reason humans have continued to reproduce. If we actually remembered the hell that is pregnancy and childbirth, we, as intelligent, liberated women would NEVER choose to do it again. But, magically, we forget. At least I did.

Now, when I have have to puke (read: all day long) I can’t just lay down and bury my head…I have to *play* with my little one. Granted, no one watching me do this would regard it as playing for either adult or child, more like mild torture for both parties. But, hey, I do my best to at least throw up discreetly into a plastic baggie behind my back.

There is more – trust me – there is more, but full on complaining won’t get me anywhere. Although, a little venting is always good for the soul. Suffice it to say, if I knew then (ok, remembered) what I know now, my daughter would be a happy, well attended only child. That’s not to say I’m not looking forward to this little baby arriving – I am only too happy to get the tiny little thing out of my body and safely in to this world…it’s just that sometimes I wish I could skip the whole pregnancy part.

image credit: wilpf.org

At less that two years old, my daughter, who sees me and my husband brushing our teeth each morning (she’s usually asleep by the time we do it at night) has taken a keen interest in the toothbrush.  On a recent playdate, she even convinced her friend to join in on the fun.

Since we’re all about Montessori in this house, I have taken her cue and begun teaching her about personal grooming habits: specifically brushing her teeth.  According to Maria Montessori, children learn best when they are ready to learn the lesson in front of them.  Their readiness is usually a sign that they feel some sense of control over what and how they will learn.  Or maybe it’s the control that leads to the readiness.  Children have, what Montessori termed, an “absorbent mind” and when the mind is ready, learning becomes more of an organic *knowing* rather than a chore.  Think of it as an exploratory environment.

We’ve been trying to get Sophie used to brushing for some time now, but only recently has she shown any real interest. I’d say she’s still *tolerant* of the nightly brushing but it’s during the day when she really just won’t let go of the thing.  I do hope this infatuation with the toothbrush stays with her.

The next lesson: potty training as her new favorite word is “poopy.”