Here’s the thing about baby soaps and shampoos: they all smell the same.

I grew up in the decade of Johnson & Johnson baby bath and No More Tears Detangler…….if I try really hard, I can still smell that stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I love the stuff, but after a while a girl just wants something a little different.

Luckily, I was introduced to California Baby products shortly before our youngest daughter was born. Its calming scent was enough to soothe a cranky, pregnant momma and worked like a charm on a cranky, colicky newborn baby too!

A mom-created product, California Baby was born when newly-pregnant Jessica Iclisoy decided she wanted to raise her baby in the most natural and non-toxic environment possible. Her key ingredient, Decyl Polyglucose, is a gentle, biodegradable cleansing and bubbling agent derived from renewable and biodegradable plant sources. Add to that a variety of essential oils and you’ve got a fabulous product.

Our first California Baby product was the Calendula Shampoo and Bodywash from the Aromatherapy line. And because we cloth diaper, we also use the Non-Burning & Calming Diaper Area Wash (instilled with tea tree, calendula, witch hazel and aloe vera and great for cleaning baby’s bottom as well as treating scrapes and cuts) and the Calming Diaper Rash Cream. We love all three products!

California Baby also has products for the home like hand wash, diffusers and essential oils, and air spritzers, as well as products for pregnancy and spending time in the sun (their baby sunscreen rocks!). All-in-all, I’m a huge fan.

I will admit that California Baby can look a bit pricey at the onset, but after you start using the products, you’ll see that a little goes a very long way. In fact, our daughter is now 16 months and we’re just now finishing up our second bottle of both the shampoo/body wash and the diaper area wash. So that should give you an idea of just how long the stuff lasts.

If you want to try the products but aren’t sure you want to invest in full-size bottles, visit the California Baby website and order one of the prepackaged gifts where you can purchase travel sizes of some of their most popular products. Ready to jump right in? You can find California Baby at Target, Whole Foods, and Babies ‘R Us.

photo credit: California Baby

Worried about postpartum depression? Don’t want to take drugs? Try your placenta. Apparently there are postpartum doulas who can process your placenta into placenta pills (shown above). Thank God, because when I read about this at first I had visions of a fillet of placenta, sautéed up with onions and peppers. Eeeeww.

The practice of eating one’s placenta is called placentophagy. Because of its high content of progesterone and numerous vitamins and minerals, the placenta is thought to be quite effective in warding off postpartum depression, helps the uterus shrink back to normal size and stimulates milk production. In fact most mammals eat their placenta, including primates but not many humans. Maybe it’s time to start?

But still…placenta recipes? Oh they are out there. But, to me the pill sounds like such a better way to go. One question…what about the inevitable burp after – you know, like with fish oil pills or some vitamins? Yuck!

photo credit: danoxster

Just back from the monthly visit to the OBGYN to check on the status of the new little one (no, I don’t have an in utero name). We both got a clean bill of health and are both growing right on schedule – whew! With all the morning sickness (so not the right thing to call it!), I was a bit nervous that neither of us were healthy. Luckily, the body knows what it’s doing, even if I don’t have a clue…Mother Nature is brilliant that way.

Anyway, I’m now at the 21 week mark and am so excited/terrified that this is half over. As my due date approaches I’m left wondering how the hell will this all work – the whole 2 kids thing, I mean. Yes, yes in theory I know it does and I’ve seen other people do it. Yet I’m not so certain how we will handle it.

Motherhood is such hard work!

photo credit molly_darling

The U.S. Government’s Health and Human Services department has just released information on the Swine Flu (H1N1) vaccine as well as the influenza vaccine on www.flu.gov. If you have the time, watch their video on the site – it’s extremely informative. Here’s my take on what I learned today.

First, the conversation on the video lumped influenza in with the new strain of flu called Swine Flu (also known as H1N1). I found this confusing. As a pregnant woman, I want to know about the specific H1N1 vaccine – what is the safety of this new vaccine, have there been clinical trials, is it available, what are the risks, what are the side effects?

What I learned was a bit shocking. They’ve tested the other risk groups, but the clinical trials for pregnant woman will start in September when they will test for correct dosage and side effects of the new vaccine. If they don’t know now what these two variables are, how can they safely recommend injecting a vaccine into a body with a developing fetus?

The Department of Health and Human Services, as well as the Center for Disease Control back up their argument for recommending the vaccine by citing the safety and long time use of the influenza vaccine. It has a very good track record for safety and they know exactly how much vaccine to administer. Hence, they “know” the same about the Swine Flu vaccine. I don’t really buy that argument. I’d rather wait to see what the evidence suggests because the H1N1/Swine Flu vaccine is brand new.

Second, it’s not available yet. October is the target release date. Well, OK, that gives me time to research more, so that’s good to know. However, they don’t know if they recommend one double dose or one dose + a booster three weeks later. This seems like very important information to me and it makes me nervous that it is still a question. I’d like to know how much of the substance they plan on putting in my body and, more importantly, that they know which is the best course of action. Again, they’ll know this in October.

Third, what is the official stance on preventative care? It’s so simple and yet I do know it’s effective: wash your hands. Wash your baby’s hands. A lot. OK, check. What else? Not much. For pregnant woman they suggest lots of rest, a healthy diet and in general taking care of yourself. Have these people ever had babies? Rest? Aside from being exhausted from running after a toddler, pregnancy causes insomnia in me so when I should and could and would like to be sleeping, I’m not sleeping. I’m rolling over, tucking pillows in all sorts of places and sighing wistfully, wishing I was asleep.

In case you contract the Swine Flu or even the regular flu, there are steps to take to minimize exposure to others like staying home, wearing a mask when you go out and wash wash wash your hands. The video goes over in much more detail what to do in this scenario and that information is quite helpful.

However there is little information on the virus itself, like how long does it survive on surfaces and, if you suspect that you’ve come in to contact with an infected person, what should you do (besides washing your hands, of course)? I’m talking about do you change clothes, wash your clothes immediately, use anything other than detergent and hot water – what?

Lastly, there is a separate page detailing what pregnant women should know about H1N1 or the Swine Flu. I’d highly recommend reading it HERE.

I don’t want to give the wrong impression – I’m for vaccinations as an abstract thought. I believe our society has benefited greatly heath-wise from vaccinations. I got the flu vaccination during my first pregnancy and will more than likely get vaccinated for influenza again. I’m just not so sure about H1N1 and the regular flu vaccine doesn’t cover Swine Flu.

Of course, on the flip side of the vaccination debate there is the risk of actually contracting the Swine Flu. Sure, I can assume I won’t get sick, but how do I know? And, if I do get sick, how bad will that be for me, my developing baby, my toddler, my husband, my mother-in-law, my friends. I mean, come on! I don’t want to even think about that.

So, while more information is great, I feel very strongly that this decision is best discussed with my OBGYN in the coming months. She knows me, my baby and my toddler. She knows the science behind the vaccine. She can help me understand what will be best for my family. I can only urge that you, as a parent, learn as much as you can and then discuss both vaccines with your doctor and your child’s doctor. The www.flu.gov site is a good place to start.

I saw this back to school post and thought I’d pass it along. While I’m not the type of mom who thinks of sending little notes in lunchboxes, I love the idea of being able to do it so quickly and easily. These little lunchbox lovies are simply adorable and seem rather quick. And, if they encourage healthy eating, I’m all for it!

And by the way, the blog that I saw them on, alphamom.com, is a great blog to keep an eye on.

I’ve been struggling with nutrition as of late. Since becoming pregnant and having all sorts of aversions to food and, well, the entire kitchen, I’ve noticed that I’ve let my toddler’s food choices slip from nutritious to easy to make. Now I’m not saying that things that are easy to make are inherently not nutritious, but it seems like a disproportionate number of quick options are salty or sweet, but not necessarily full of nutrients.

And by nutrients, do I mean fat? Am I alone here in wondering what role fat should play in a child’s nutrition? I think not.

Here is a really interesting blog post that ties nutrition and fat intake (or rather, the lack thereof) to the increased “diagnosis” of ADD/ADHD. I use the quotes (I wish I could use air quotes) to emphasize the difference between the medical diagnosis of a real issue with the catch-all phrase ADD/ADHD to describe all sorts of behavior problems without truly understanding the underlying cause. I realize there is a vast and growing difference.

Back to my point. I’m usually pressed for time in the evenings – you know that witching hour that is dinner, bath, and bed-time. Couple that with a distinct desire to NOT open the fridge and I’ve started throwing together meals as quickly and painlessly as possible. Some days are better, like when I actually make something home-made that includes all the food groups (like easy enchiladas!). But some days are just plain bad.

And lunches – forget about it! Gone are the days of grilled cheese or peanut butter sandwiches. I usually throw some lunchmeat and Pirate booty and peas (if I have some) on her plate and watch her eat it up! My goal has changed from nutrition to feeding her something she will actually eat so we can get out the door to go to the playground. And once there, what do I give her? Crackers. Who have I become?

It’s not that I yearn for the time to fix her homemade granola bars, slow cooked oatmeal or other such treats. Even if I had the time I wouldn’t choose to spend it in the kitchen like that. No, what I need is healthy foods that are good (read: easy, quick AND nutritious) to eat.

Here’s what I’ve come up with as far as snacks go, but I’d love suggestions. The list is short.

Hard boiled eggs: easy and portable, too
Cheese sticks: these had been a staple, but have fallen out of favor. (Note to self: reintroduce)
Raisins (or other dried fruit): sweet and natural
Yogurt
Almonds: a new addition as they are a choking hazard…I break them in half

As I find more healthy toddler foods, I’ll post them.

OMG! When thinking about the whole idea of having a second child, my husband and I forgot a number of crucial data points, which, unfortunately, have now reared their ugly heads. First, exhaustion. I mean, our toddler (20 months, now) is so precocious – she’s in to everything.

It’s fun, at times, to catch her studying how a chip clip works for minutes upon minutes, and I realize the wonder that has yet to unfold before her. Then, when she decides to remove each and every item from the pantry while I’m loading the dishwasher, it’s not so fun.

Just when I think I’ve gotten the house straightened up, I turn around to find hurricane Sophie has blown through, leaving bits of paper, stuffed animals and books strewn about. Everywhere. Now, add to that the exhaustion that comes with breeding a baby and you see where things get tough.

I never guessed that toddler-hood would require so much of my waning energy when I thought about getting pregnant. I based my decision on the facts I had at the time – little, docile 14-15 month old teetering from couch to chair back to couch. That was fun to watch, and I could do it sitting down!

Then, let’s address the whole morning sickness cover-up. I mean, the first time I was pregnant I was sick straight through, morning till night. No relief. Of course, on looking back I *remembered* it as being not so bad. When I had to lay down, I did. When I had to take it slow, I did. When I had to run to the bathroom (or pick up the nearest bucket), I did.

Oh oh, not so lucky this time…hormones are a wonderful curse – they cause all sorts of memory loss that, let’s be frank, is the only reason humans have continued to reproduce. If we actually remembered the hell that is pregnancy and childbirth, we, as intelligent, liberated women would NEVER choose to do it again. But, magically, we forget. At least I did.

Now, when I have have to puke (read: all day long) I can’t just lay down and bury my head…I have to *play* with my little one. Granted, no one watching me do this would regard it as playing for either adult or child, more like mild torture for both parties. But, hey, I do my best to at least throw up discreetly into a plastic baggie behind my back.

There is more – trust me – there is more, but full on complaining won’t get me anywhere. Although, a little venting is always good for the soul. Suffice it to say, if I knew then (ok, remembered) what I know now, my daughter would be a happy, well attended only child. That’s not to say I’m not looking forward to this little baby arriving – I am only too happy to get the tiny little thing out of my body and safely in to this world…it’s just that sometimes I wish I could skip the whole pregnancy part.

image credit: wilpf.org

At less that two years old, my daughter, who sees me and my husband brushing our teeth each morning (she’s usually asleep by the time we do it at night) has taken a keen interest in the toothbrush.  On a recent playdate, she even convinced her friend to join in on the fun.

Since we’re all about Montessori in this house, I have taken her cue and begun teaching her about personal grooming habits: specifically brushing her teeth.  According to Maria Montessori, children learn best when they are ready to learn the lesson in front of them.  Their readiness is usually a sign that they feel some sense of control over what and how they will learn.  Or maybe it’s the control that leads to the readiness.  Children have, what Montessori termed, an “absorbent mind” and when the mind is ready, learning becomes more of an organic *knowing* rather than a chore.  Think of it as an exploratory environment.

We’ve been trying to get Sophie used to brushing for some time now, but only recently has she shown any real interest. I’d say she’s still *tolerant* of the nightly brushing but it’s during the day when she really just won’t let go of the thing.  I do hope this infatuation with the toothbrush stays with her.

The next lesson: potty training as her new favorite word is “poopy.”

I was reading an article in the New Yorker about breastfeeding and was stunned at the idea that we, as mothers, may becoming our own wet nurses because of the preference of pumping over breastfeeding.  As a mother who had difficulty with breast feeding because my milk had trouble traveling down my milk ducts to get to my baby, I relied on whatever means possible to give my baby the best that I could.  While formula ultimately became my only option, I find it disheartening to hear about the continued controversy over formula versus breastfeeding.  And now with pumping added to the mix… oiy!

Clearly the nutrients in breast milk are vastly superior to anything that can be manufactured, however, this argument seems to had led to unfortunate consequences.  Here in California, lactation consultants reinforce the practice of breastfeeding to the point of being pushers.  While I applaud the effort, I feel like their emphasis is misplaced.  Instead of reinforcing the notion that breastfeeding is as much about human connection as giving nutrients, the focus on breast milk has not made things better for the baby or the mother.

What a great pity that mothers are being encouraged to do themselves out of what must surely be the most important job in the world, raising the next generation.   Children are being given over to the often very capable hands of day care workers and nannies with bottles of expressed milk.  Capable but can we really say they have the same amount of time and attention needed to fully attune to the new baby.  Breast feeding is about more than giving nutrients to the infant, it is about attunement and bonding.  The first year of a baby’s life is so crucial and so much is now known about the impact of attunement and attachment on infants and the impact of neuronal development.  It’s strange that in a society that is gung ho about the academic development of children so little attention is paid to the all important emotional development which creates stability later on in life.  Surely bonding with mom, more than flash cards and tutors at the age of three, is setting them up for the ability to attend and learn later on.

Not to mention the headache attached to pumping.  Breasts fill and must be drained on a schedule.  The horror stories I’ve heard about women heading off to an icky restroom to pump for 15 minutes is shocking.  I mean would you feed your baby a sandwich in a restroom?   And as for the office restroom, it is dare I say humiliating to be hooked up to a pump like Bessie the cow and have your co-workers come in!  Some offices do have lactation rooms, which is a start, but again that skirts the issue.

I am absolutely not against a mom choosing to return to work after having a baby nor am I opposed to pumping.  What I am opposed to is the lack of discussion around all of the consequences of the myriad choices we mothers have.  Long term consequences.  I feel that, as a society, we should be discussing the effect of day care and nannys as well as breast milk when we discuss what is best for baby.  If we conduct experiments and studies on breast milk, shouldn’t we pay the same attention to the choice to contract out raising our children?

photo credit: Raphael Goetter

Looking for a modern bassinet or co-sleeper and only finding icky, frilly wedding cakes on stilts? Yeah, I hate most of what I saw out there in the marketplace, too. I thought I’d round up the best of the modern bassinets and co-sleepers I found.

But first, a little bit about co-sleeping.  While doing my research I found so many articles for and against co-sleeping that I nearly gave up on the idea of making a decision, but then realized that no decision was in fact a decision so I trudged on.

The argument that stood out for me in favor co-sleeping was that, by sleeping with your infant you are teaching them how to sleep.  Until they arrive, your body is their body; so connected are mother and baby.  When they come out, you realize they are not still a part of your body (believe me, you realize this) but they don’t.  It takes them a long while to understand that separation…(see separation anxiety).  In keeping with this line of thought, then, by modeling sleep behavior you in essence are teaching your baby how to sleep.  Generations of parents across cultures have done so.  Not until recently (relatively speaking, say within the last 200 years) have parents removed the infant from their own bed and put them into a separate room.  Now, I could go on about the pros of co-sleeping, but this is the one that really felt right to me.  This and the fact that, once my baby joined us, I was so intent on watching her every breath (to make sure she was still taking them) that I felt better with her next to me.

But, to be fair, the argument that putting a baby in his or her own room fosters independence also resonated with me.  I mean, afterall, we are raising little adults and I’d like to think that my child will be independent when she grows – not an emotionally stilted dependent being.  Plus, independence is integral to the Montessori method that we choose to raise our daughter by, so I felt conflicted about the decision.

However, the essence of Montessori, to me, is to teach your child when the child is ready to learn that lesson.  Since an infant is still mentally attached to the mother, I figure that co-sleeping is the appropriate lesson for that age and teaching my child how to sleep by essentially modeling the behavior seemed like the thing to do.  I could be rationalizing here, but it felt right.

Which leads me back to finding a good co-sleeper.  Since we have a queen size bed, the one that fits in-between the parents was out – simply not enough room.  Of course, there is always the time honored practice of laying the baby down on the bed, but I was afraid of smothering and excessive rolling over that that was out as well.

What I found fits into to two categories: the co-sleeper and the bassinet.  One actually attaches to the bed, making a tiny bed for the baby but still next to the mom (or dad).  The other can be placed anywhere, either next to the bed or simply in the room.   I loved the Nest-Bassinet: simple, elegant.  And, expensive!  

Then, I found more moderately priced one, the ninna-nanna basket and the Cariboo Classic:

Not bad, but I was leaning more toward having my baby sleep next to me so that I wouldn’t have to be continually getting out of bed to check on her.  Here are the co-sleepers I liked the best.

My favorite by a mile: Cully Bella co-sleeper from Italy.  Unfortunately, it’s not in production.  But just look at it!

Finally, hiding in the depths of the internet I found the Baby Bunk.  Not too expensive, simple, and elegant.  The perfect combo for me.  Here is my bed with the bunk we bought and one with my baby in it…

All three of us loved it.  We each had our own space to sleep but we were all cozy next to each other.  I didn’t have to get out of bed in the night to check on my baby and we all slept as good as can be expected those first three months.  Really, with just a few hiccups, we slept pretty much right on her feeding schedule: at first every three hours we woke, then every four, then we made it to six (what a night!) and then we were getting through from about 11 pm to 7 am. We used the bunk for roughly 4 months, until our little climber started to sit up and try to pull on the edges to investigate the other side…then, she went straight to the floor bed (see post).

Co-sleeping was the exact right decision for our family and using the baby bunk was perfect.  Hope you find what you’re looking for, too.