Tag: sleep solutions

Almost a year into the floor bed and things are still going strong. I wrote previously on the Montessori floor bed and a little of why we chose to go that route instead of with a crib (see post). Well, the decision was made and we have never looked back.

At first, I was nervous that the floor bed would give our daughter too much freedom in her room. The purpose of the bed is to instill the ability to make decisions and allow the baby to experience independence, albeit independence with limits. Yes, we baby proofed the whole room, but still, it’s a bit nerve racking to think of the baby deciding to get out of bed on her own to explore her room…and we don’t even have a video monitor!

I decided to put some board books and toys on the bottom shelf of the bookshelf in the room, that way, if Sophie wanted to play with something she would have a selection of things that were virtually indestructible. Recently I’ve added a few wooden puzzles within her reach and her favorite stuffed animals. Also, at night, I move the pillows (purely decorational) along with her blanket to the top of the changing table so she can’t get in to trouble with those.

This is how her typical morning goes: she wakes up, starts singing and babbling. She stirs, probably rolling around for a bit until she decides to crawl over to her bookshelf. Sophie is walking now, but she prefers to sleep with her sleep sack on and it’s difficult for her to walk in it – she has figured out that crawling still works fine. So, she’ll crawl over to her bookshelf and throw just about everything on the floor, sifting through each book, puzzle or animal deciding what to play with. I know this because I hear her on the monitor doing this. Then, she plays…and talks to herself. She’s been able to go for almost a whole hour at a stretch while my husband and I slowly wake up and roust ourselves. Now, I’m not sure how babies react to the morning in cribs since I have no experience with one, but our mornings are really good this way. She wakes up on her own time and is learning to amuse herself – no Mommy or Daddy to make her decisions for her. I think that is a valuable lesson, one that may just serve her well throughout her life.

I’d be lying if I said she never cries in the morning, but those seem to be getting fewer and farther between. It’s as if she knows that we’re here for her even if she doesn’t see us.

I should mention that naps are a different story. Sometimes it is the exact same routine as the morning. But, there have been plenty of days where she just won’t go to sleep or stay asleep. She refuses! And, those days she gets herself out of bed and throws a fit by the door. I know this because 1) I can hear her voice get louder and louder as she tries to look under the crack in the door to the hallway and 2) I’ve hit her with the door as I’ve entered the room. (FYI, I open the door very, very slowly now). But, I figure any kid refuses sleep some days and in a crib she’d throw the same tantrum, she just would have less mobility. Good, and bad.

Sophie has now taken to marching herself over to her bookshelf and playing during naps. Ultimately I’m OK with that as she is making her own decisions (within limits) and we stick to her schedule regardless if she gets a nap…if she’s extra sleepy when bed time comes around, then maybe she’ll eventually learn that nap time combats that. One can hope.

Overall, the floor bed is indeed teaching our daughter the lessons we wanted to teach her. Consequences stem from her own actions – not from some arbitrary “rule.”

And lastly, an added benefit I hadn’t realized: the bed is great for us as well. When she’s sick my husband and I have alternately curled up beside our daughter and rubbed her back during the night, comforted her in the wee hours of the morning while laying down, and lounged in her room while we play together. We are on the floor, yes, but not stooping over a bed rail, feeling our backs get increasingly sore. My knees talk to me more now but honestly I’d rather have that then back trouble!

Looking for a modern bassinet or co-sleeper and only finding icky, frilly wedding cakes on stilts? Yeah, I hate most of what I saw out there in the marketplace, too. I thought I’d round up the best of the modern bassinets and co-sleepers I found.

But first, a little bit about co-sleeping.  While doing my research I found so many articles for and against co-sleeping that I nearly gave up on the idea of making a decision, but then realized that no decision was in fact a decision so I trudged on.

The argument that stood out for me in favor co-sleeping was that, by sleeping with your infant you are teaching them how to sleep.  Until they arrive, your body is their body; so connected are mother and baby.  When they come out, you realize they are not still a part of your body (believe me, you realize this) but they don’t.  It takes them a long while to understand that separation…(see separation anxiety).  In keeping with this line of thought, then, by modeling sleep behavior you in essence are teaching your baby how to sleep.  Generations of parents across cultures have done so.  Not until recently (relatively speaking, say within the last 200 years) have parents removed the infant from their own bed and put them into a separate room.  Now, I could go on about the pros of co-sleeping, but this is the one that really felt right to me.  This and the fact that, once my baby joined us, I was so intent on watching her every breath (to make sure she was still taking them) that I felt better with her next to me.

But, to be fair, the argument that putting a baby in his or her own room fosters independence also resonated with me.  I mean, afterall, we are raising little adults and I’d like to think that my child will be independent when she grows – not an emotionally stilted dependent being.  Plus, independence is integral to the Montessori method that we choose to raise our daughter by, so I felt conflicted about the decision.

However, the essence of Montessori, to me, is to teach your child when the child is ready to learn that lesson.  Since an infant is still mentally attached to the mother, I figure that co-sleeping is the appropriate lesson for that age and teaching my child how to sleep by essentially modeling the behavior seemed like the thing to do.  I could be rationalizing here, but it felt right.

Which leads me back to finding a good co-sleeper.  Since we have a queen size bed, the one that fits in-between the parents was out – simply not enough room.  Of course, there is always the time honored practice of laying the baby down on the bed, but I was afraid of smothering and excessive rolling over that that was out as well.

What I found fits into to two categories: the co-sleeper and the bassinet.  One actually attaches to the bed, making a tiny bed for the baby but still next to the mom (or dad).  The other can be placed anywhere, either next to the bed or simply in the room.   I loved the Nest-Bassinet: simple, elegant.  And, expensive!  

Then, I found more moderately priced one, the ninna-nanna basket and the Cariboo Classic:

Not bad, but I was leaning more toward having my baby sleep next to me so that I wouldn’t have to be continually getting out of bed to check on her.  Here are the co-sleepers I liked the best.

My favorite by a mile: Cully Bella co-sleeper from Italy.  Unfortunately, it’s not in production.  But just look at it!

Finally, hiding in the depths of the internet I found the Baby Bunk.  Not too expensive, simple, and elegant.  The perfect combo for me.  Here is my bed with the bunk we bought and one with my baby in it…

All three of us loved it.  We each had our own space to sleep but we were all cozy next to each other.  I didn’t have to get out of bed in the night to check on my baby and we all slept as good as can be expected those first three months.  Really, with just a few hiccups, we slept pretty much right on her feeding schedule: at first every three hours we woke, then every four, then we made it to six (what a night!) and then we were getting through from about 11 pm to 7 am. We used the bunk for roughly 4 months, until our little climber started to sit up and try to pull on the edges to investigate the other side…then, she went straight to the floor bed (see post).

Co-sleeping was the exact right decision for our family and using the baby bunk was perfect.  Hope you find what you’re looking for, too.

I’m no expert in Montessori but I’m extremely interested and have been trying to put fold some principles in to the way we are raising our daughter.  I know, I know, you probably can’t cherry pick these things but for what it’s worth, I am and it seems to be working OK for us.  So, here’s our experience with the Montessori floor bed and how we incorporated the idea into a room that is actually quite cute.

Why a floor bed?  As my cousin (the real expert and the one I look to for advice – her blog is www.mommybahn.blogspot.com) says “a montessori infant should be able to get in and out of bed on her own power.”    A crib hampers a child from making their own decisions.  Essentially, you’ve made all the decisions for them – you put them in the crib and you take them out.  With a floor bed, they are empowered.  A double edge sword, you might say.  Nonetheless, a floor bed allows your child to begin to understand their power.

We put a single futon on the floor and placed it in the corner of the room, up against 2 walls.  I contemplated getting a floor bed frame but decided a futon on the floor would suffice.  Yes, it’s a little college for an infant.  But, for us, the frame wasn’t necessary to the principle or the design.  I must say it has far exceeded my expectations and my daughter loves loves loves it!  She sleeps soundly, hasn’t rolled off on to the floor yet (except when she intends to) and can entertain herself in the mornings quite well.  I should mention here that we close her bedroom door because her room is on the 2nd floor and ours in on the first so I can’t have her roaming about the house on her own…one reason why I cherry pick what principles we follow and what we don’t.  That said, the entire room is baby proofed.  You could, I guess, call the whole room her crib but that is getting way too technical for this mom and there are way more qualified Montessori gurus out there.  I offer this just as a real world implementation of the Montessori floor bed. Our family couldn’t be happier with this sleep solution.

UPDATE: Just to bend your ear about safe sleep, the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association has a great resource on crib (and other sleep solutions) safety.