There is no magic way to go back in time, but if there was I’d jump on that time bending machine to whisper a few words of wisdom in my childless ears. For all you singletons out there contemplating jumping aboard the kiddy express, here are a few things to think about now, before that train leaves the station:
When in Doubt, GO OUT: Yes, I’ve enjoyed my youth so this seems like an odd thing to tell myself. However, it’s the small things. Out for dinner, trying a dancing class, meeting friends for drink on the spur of the moment, catching a movie. Walking on the beach barefoot at any time of day you want. With kids, going out the house is a PRODUCTION, no matter which way you slice it. Without kids it can be an adventure.
Have Sex: Of course that’s on the list, silly! Because, quite honestly, sex after kids is something to be “planned” like “date night,” things I never thought I’d have to plan. The best thing about being childless is the ability to be spontaneous…so go out and enjoy spontaneous sex. And I’m not talking one night stand type sex here, though if that’s the way you roll, then by all means (though, note from the wiser [read: older] me, one night stands typically are much better in fantasy than in reality. Spontaneous sex with someone you adore is something to remember, so make it memorable.
Dress Well: All those beautiful clothes that sat in my closet waiting for something special. 
Well, now they don’t fit – either my body or my lifestyle. Especially high heels. In fact, I’m changing this generic “dress well” to “wear high heels.” Come babyhood, heels will make it harder to run after little ones. And you do a lot of running after little ones.
Speak Your Mind: It’s taken me a while to understand that being polite and nice may get you walked on. I certainly have felt like the front door mat plenty in my time, all in an effort to people please. Being bold, saying what is on my mind may be risky but it’s honest. If you try to please everyone, you’ll wind up pleasing no one, especially not yourself. This may not pertain directly to being childless, but it sounds like sage advice. Or, maybe you need the practice of speaking up so that, when the time comes, you’ll know just how to lay down the law when the kiddos start “negotiating.”
Be Real: instead of trying to appear perfect, being real is SOOOOO much more appealing. Appealing to me, appealing to you, appealing to anyone. It’s taken 2 kids to realize that perfection is a myth and that the more I tried to look like I was perfect in the past, the more I was losing the real me.
Cook: Cooking takes time. It takes practice. It takes lots of love. So, while childless, enjoy puttering about in the kitchen, trying adventurous recipes because come meal time with toddlers, you’ll be throwing whatever you can reach in the fridge on the table – it may get warm on the way there, it may not. Mostly, dinner will consist of the white foods: potatoes, pasta, chicken, rice. BORING. You may have hopes of being this generation’s Julia Child to your family, but it won’t happen. Cook when you’re 20.
Drive a Sports Car: It doesn’t have to be a fancy sports car, though I’m afraid that by definition sports cars are fancy. But go for a two seater and go fast! Because car seats won’t fit in a sports car…’nuff said.
Do NOTHING: That’s right. Nothing. Be OK with having nothing to do and nowhere to be. It’s not boring, it’s essential. Waste time. Go ahead. Waste it. That free time will evaporate when the rugrats come along.
Travel: Travel is doable with kids. It is. We’ve done it a few times. But man oh man is it exhausting. Keeping track of all that luggage not to mention the little ones! Travel sans kids and enjoy the journey.
This is just a short list of things I wish my childless self would have known. Maybe it has taken having two kids to understand the weight of these lessons, who knows?
So, if you’re reading this and you’re childless, then why the hell are you reading a parenting blog?!? (just kidding) No, really, learn from my oversight if you will. If you’re reading this and you have kids, what would you tell your childless self? I’m sure I’ve forgotten a few things…
photo credit: M31
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